So lets just sum this up short version. For those of you that somewhat know my story life has not been to kind to me. But I get up every day I face it and I power through it. Ive had heartbreak that I could probably write the number 1 best seller about. Although it changed who I am and has probably ruined a part of what I believed in love to be I will still love fierce. In the past few months I found myself in a very depressed state of mind,one that not many people know about because id get up put a smile on my face and push through the day. Ive been hurt by some ppl that I have always tried to be there for. Id hear ppl say things behind my back that they thought id never hear. Or certain ppl just be down right rude after id try to help them through in their time of trouble. Even though Id walk away and say im fine. I was no where near being fine. My thoughts became darker my heart became heavier. I swore if one more thing happened to hurt me id break. Well I broke. I found myself pulling over in the car to just cry. I started running again and id push myself so hard because I had so much hurt that id just fall down and fall apart somehow I found strength to pull it all together to be there the second someone needed me. It amazes me how I can find that glue to hold others together but no one saw me falling apart. The stronger Ive had to be the weaker I felt. I have a huge heart id do anything for anyone even if they have hurt me in the past. I was taught you do unto others as youd have done unto you. Why was I the only one who got this memo? Ppl are cruel today. They only care about what they can get for themselves they dont care who they damage along the way. So as I had to take a step back I realize. I have some amazing children who look at me and they will NEVER doubt that I love them and that I give all I can to them. I have a small and I mean very small group of friends who have shown me what love means. I have amazing family that encourage me and continue to remind me how strong I am. Even though sometimes I dont want to be strong I just want to fall apart. But my strength that goes without fail comes from the Lord. Im pretty sure he has some angels up there working 24/7 to keep me supplied with strength. So as I go on this journey and im walking through the darker valleys right now I may fall apart but I know theres a mountain top coming and to those who are pulling me through it thank you. Even the strongest people you know need someone to reach out a hand once in a while.
Posted on: Sun, 18 May 2014 13:55:19 +0000
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