So the book launch has been and gone, what a great day it was too. Book orders galore, im still stunned at the response from you guys to something that i dont really think of as a big thing, its just something that happened to me, il take it and move on as best i can, even with all my new frailties that it brings into my life the struggles etc, there are far more people out there i a worse situation than me, they are the inspirations, im just me an ordinary man, that had to deal with some shit. I just wish i had more time to talk to you all, but it was so busy. I did struggle to stay with it. Thank you to each and everyone of you who made the effort to attend for me and make it such a memorable day in my life. It was a prime example though, of how non strokies dont realise the affect of stroke on strokies, i looked ok, i acted ok, so i was ok. Actually no, i snuk off to my mancave, a good few times, and hid in my porch, when letting people out, to let my weary brain and body recover to an extent where i could face it all again. It was noisy as you would expect, i cant handle noise, to many voices talking at once becomes a blur, i was aware myself at times as people were talking i was paying lip service, i was desperately trying to listen and take it in, but it wasnt registering. I am hoping no one noticed, as i tried my best to hide it., but at times i thought my head was going to explode or have another stroke, i resisted quite a few times wanting to say thats it piss off the lot of you, of couse i didnt and no way wanted you too, but thats what stroke does gives irrational thoughts and behaviours. At times it was totally manic, the constant blur of noise, people wanting books,Pics etc i tried my best to smile through it all i hope i succeeded people wanting me to sign them, sorry about that to, at the start i put little messages in, about 4 books in they got shorter as it went through the day they got shorter and shorter, by the end it was a scrawled signature, i bet if you all bought your books back, the signatures all look different lol. One good thing was i managed to stay on my feet until you all went home lol then it all came down on me, the adrenalin gone that was keeping me going and boom a sack of shite i became, totally drained, 2 days later hell of a lot of sleep and im still exhausted. You know what i wouldnt have changed it for the world, i hope all those who got a book will understand through it, just a little of what its like to be a strokie, 15 years on from my first im still struggling to be kinda normal, ive opened my heart and soul to you guys, told you things most people wouldnt dream of even mentioning to there best friends, i hope you can take those things away and be more aware if you come across a strokie, things are not always as they seem. Thanks to the secretary, favourite daughter, No1 son ad pops fishing buddy for the help and organisation and for being my world and thanks to each and everyone of you that made the effort to be there thank you to all those who sent well wishes particularly the guys on DS YOU GAVE ME THE STRENGTH TO SEE IT THROUGH.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 18:20:14 +0000
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