So, the problem with being a creature of habit (me) is that it allows people who THINK theyre funny (Melissa) to prank you with ease. Im not feeling so hot today, so my plan was to go use the restroom and then take a long, scolding shower. Sounded perfect. This is what I do whenever I get sick...creature of habit. Ms. thinks shes funny pants goes in first to use the restroom (she was a liar and liars are doo doo heads ((foreshadowing)) When she leaves, I go in with my head hung low, just trying to function, and the first thing I see is a monstrous turd log on the toilet seat(could have been from a freakin bear) as if someone squatted on top of the toilet and just let stuff go...so I look closely and quickly realize that its just a bunch of soaking brown napkins molded to look exactly like a giant poo (seriously, has she been practicing sculpting poop in her free time? everyone needs a talent I guess) I giggle and pick it up to throw it away, and as Im doing so, I reach into the shower to get the water started so it can heat up by the time Im ready...BUT my hiiiiiiiiilarious girlfriend (dont support her...tell her that her jokes are not funny) she had detached the shower head, so as soon as I turn the knob, focusing on the fake chocolate steamer, freezing water sprays out like a garden hose, hitting me right in the face. So, Im getting metric crap loads of water right in the face while Im standing there with fake poop in my hands. Yup, I know what youre thinking: not funny at all...and gosh darnit youre right. This all just confirms that women are like the velociraptors from Jurassic Park...theyll distract you with one thing and then attack you from the side! The war...has begun.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 02:05:18 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015