So the rest of this week is packing and getting ready to move out of this god forsaken state. Girls are excited, esp Terrah who was born in LA, and really wants to move home.. This week long extra bit of time has been a godsend (in the figurative not religious sense) its allowed for some stability in the move and not having to just go somewhere i didnt want to be.. An open note to everyone: People shouldnt go ape and start worrying when I blow up or rant about something, 99.9% of the time its my temper taking over and stress has gotten the best of me, but I should, like everyone else be afforded the same courtesy of being able to rant, and my opinions should not be brushed aside... This current situation as I explained to someone, who was curious how it came out of nowhere, is just an extension of one that has been plaguing me for the past 6 years now, namely school districts trying to save a buck, and using less than honorable means to fight back against a parent. I am far form the first parent that they have done this to, and I will by no means be the last, but a lot of my stress and anger is directed at that situation, and people dont seem to realize its not a series of situations, but ONE, and unlike parents that can just grab a lawyer and fight (and lose most of the time) I also have other family to think about that are affected by the SAME situation when I am as we are close and the kids all intermingle and stay at each others houses (my brother and I are very close, and we let the kids sleep over each others houses even on school nights) Six years is actually being generous, Emmie is 11 so its been almost 11 years (she was diagnosed at 18 mos) that Ive had these battles, (although they werent as bad early on) and they are battles, Ive injured myself, Ive quit working FOUR separate times to accommodate Emmie, and I have run like hell when it seemed like it was a hopeless battle, like now.. Its a hopeless battle, no matter what I do, Im screwed.. Something else a lot of people dont get, and its something you need to understand, if you have never had to deal with CPS, you cannot possibly understand the thought that all of your rights are stripped and you are guilty until you prove yourself innocent, that anyone, even anonymously, can call in ANYTHING and it sticks until you can prove yourself innocent, and theres almost no way to do that as they dont give you the discovery you would get even in a criminal case, its all sealed up and you do not have a right to see the report or the allegations until they are there with the cops taking your kids away and saying you have no rights, they were taken away in secret.. School districts count on that fear to keep parents in line, and in my case ive had more than a few go arounds dealing with the allegations of neglect (one was for a doctors appointment he school nurse swore under oath didnt happen but even the doctors office records stated it did) or the one where a teacher claimed she had a photo of me wandering the neighborhood with the girls eating out of the trash, when it was actually a picture of fall cleanup and we were dumping leaves in a brown leaf bag for disposal.. When you can put yourself in that shoe, and understand the stress that the situation of fighting constantly for disabled children gets you, and all of the wonderful wonderful allegations that get thrown at you to shut you the hell up then and only then can you criticize or even hope to have me allow you to analyze my life.. Sorry folks, i hate to say this is something you have to experience to understand, but its something you have to experience to understand, this is my release, I cannot at work or dealing with people (with regards to the girls) open up and say what I want to, as oh yeah, they can use your WORDS against you as well.. (this latest fight has culminated because I told the school district that sitting through yet another ppt where they tell me Im crazy to think that a child needs services would be like watching the deaths of my family over and over, and got switched to , I was going to kill my family) Think about that before you yell at me that I am somehow not allowed to get that stress out by writing it.. Would people rather I took it out on life? I didnt think so..
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 00:34:51 +0000
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