So this just happened *ahem* Lets call it Im a Doctor - Part 2 Enjoy. - Security Lady: Please step this way, we need to ask you a few further questions, as a secondary security screening. Completely random sir. Where are you travelling today? Me: Paris. Security Lady: Thats nice, off for the weekend? Are you going for Business or Pleasure? Me: Im a Doctor. Just going to show my friend *points to friend waiting for me* around Paris, just for a day, Ill be back tomorrow afternoon. Security: Passport please. *hands over passport - security lady flicks through passport, turning it side ways every other page with bemused looks as if shes never seen a Passport before - I cant see her name on her ID, covered by her oversized collar. Shes a middle aged Caucasian, fairly voluptuous lady, caked out with make up, has a plume of cheap perfume around her her and sports curly blonde locks that probably havent seen a day of hard work since they first saw the light of day. In my head I call her Charlene, I mean she looks like a Charlene* Charlene: This passport is quite worn out isnt it Sir! Me: All the random security checks, right? *she tries to hide a sincere chuckle* Charlene: So where do you work? Me: Im a Doctor, I work in West London, part time. Security: What sort of a doctor are you? Me: A good one. *she chuckles, genuinely this time* Charlene: Any specialisation I mean? Me: Mainly Emergency medicine. Charlene: You seem to travel a lot for a doctor. Me: Yeah. I do a bunch of other stuff too. A lot of charity and community work, business stuff too. Charlene: What business work? Me: Well I part own a record company, do a bunch of consulting work, leadership training, do you want to see my CV? Charlene: Thats okay. You were in Malaysia in a October, why Malaysia? *she sounds like shes chuffed at her ability to read and remember the date on a passport stamp* Me: Its a nice place. I was doing some leadership training, in Singapore too that time. Charlene: Okay, and how do you know this friend with you? Hes American? Me: I met him in Egypt a couple years ago whilst he was studying with a friend of mine. Charlene: Egypt? Mmmmm. Please bare with me, I need to speak to a colleague. We may need to interview you further. *I exhale loudly and don a very annoyed face - Charlene goes to talk to her boss, occasionally darting the odd glance my way as she continues to flick back and forth through my passport - boss then approaches me about three minutes later* Boss: Sir, do you have any medical ID? Me: Hmmm... I may have an old card *I dig through wallet and fish out an old hospital ID* Boss: Sir, why do you carry this old ID? Me: *I pause a second* Well.. I get NHS discount at Nandos *shows him my Nandos card* 20%, off innit? *he looks me up and down, I stick out my belly...I mean... A little more than it already is* Boss: Where is your current ID? Me: At home. I dont need it in Paris do I? *my tone of voice slightly peed off at this point* Boss: Which hospital do you work in? Me: Sir, Im running late for my flight. Is there a problem? You taking the mick now... Do you want me to give you the number of the emergency department to check I work there? Its 0208 56.... Boss: Thats fine Sir, that should be fine. No problem. You have liquids in your baggage over the 100ml limit. Me: Im a doctor, I need it. Boss: I guess thats fine. You can take it with you. Sorry to have troubled you. Many thanks, safe flight, see you soon. Me: Hopefully not. Have a nice day. (Woohoo...! First time Ive got a 500ml bottle through security..! Haha, win...! And I still got time for Chai tea latte!)
Posted on: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:45:10 +0000
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