So those who have known me for an extremely long time (Kristin Ropp, Sarah McGuire, Rosanna Hakel, Adriana Lalicker, Jodi Reid-Lalicker, James Lalicker, and a few others) knows that since about August of 2008, things have been a bit rough in my life with problems and issues with my oldest daughter and her life choices and choice words that she has said to me. In August 2008, it was a Sunday and it started out like any other day, I worked at the Port of York on base for Sunday brunch, my husband and I were planning on going to Busch Gardens, and my oldest (who lived with us at the time) was supposedly staying with a co-worker of ours for the weekend, or at least that was what we were told. When this co-worker came into work I made a comment hey tell that daughter of mine to call me please and her responses was why would I tell her to call you when I dropped her off at your apartment on Friday afternoon. Of course this was extremely alarming to me and I went into the worst moments of my life, including thinking the worst fear any mother could have had come true! I tried calling her cell but no answer. I was in a full panic! The next few hours was extremely emotional and hard. When my child finally called me it was not the kind of conversation I was expecting, in fact I was called every name in the book and told I was the worse person in the world! Heartbreaking to say the very least! I was taking home by a co-worker, and my husband came out and carried me into our apartment, I couldnt tell you which was up and all I did was cry uncontrollably! It was at that point I battle my first round of depression! Now many who have known for an extremely long time Peggy Johnson, Joey N Beth) know that that having any kind of depression or mental illness has ALWAYS been my biggest fear! My brother battles daily with his own demons, and I know that my mother does as well and so do many others in my family. I always try and stay extremely strong no matter what I am facing in my life! The good and the bad and the extremely ugly times in my life I have always tried to keep it all behind a smile and kind words for others, and many times I can do it, but other times it unleashes, and for those times I apologize for the unleashings. Depression is a battle that many people suffer, and many of them suffer it alone and never say a word! These are the ones that feel that no one will ever understand what exactly is going on within and it is too hard to try and explain it! Many can sustain with medications, while others have yet to find a combination that actually works successfully for them! Although I do not feel that I battle depression all of the time or even half the time, I do believe that at points in my life I have battled depression of some form! For those who have been around and have given the love and support, I pray that you all know that it means more to me then any amount of words could ever express and from the bottom of my heart I greatly appreciate you all!!!
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 00:56:24 +0000
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