So tomorrow is my biopsy, 2:00pm EST. I will say a few things about what has happened since I shared this here. So many people have been so kind and supportive that I have no regrets about doing it this way. I needed/wanted that. I have received a good amount of books to read, diets to try, The Cancer Conspiracy Theory as well as very serious warnings on why I shouldnt have this done in the USA. I have also been encouraged to not to trust the medical field. And of course The Holistic approach to curing Cancer. I have chosen to have this done here and by a group of Dr.s that I feel have my best interest in their hearts. I do not believe in any conspiracy. Dr.s have spouses , children, parents, and friends ALL dying of this disease, as well have seeing many go into remission and even beating it. I do respect any ones beliefs, because once again, I live in this country and because of that, I can say what I think, believe in what I want to, and make choices regarding my health. I will also say that I am scared. I feel that this is going to be a positive result. I have had 2 Mammograms and 2 sonograms since October. So it has been monitored. I signed 14 pieces of paper that cost 10USD each. Because my husband was in the Navy for 20years we have very good health insurance. But it doesnt pay for all of everything. Should my instincts be correct, I will have a choice of a lumpectomy ( where the cancerous parts of my left breast will be removed) or have my breast removed entirely. Followed by Radiation. When I first posted this, I didnt understand that much about radiation. Its possible that I will feel very tired and nauseous. I might also lose my hair. I sometimes feel like staying under the covers and not even getting up for the day. I know there are wigs, I can smoke some pot, and I dont have a job outside of my home, so I can sleep. I am afraid for my son who has school, might have to come home and see me, sick and weak , with clumps of my hair falling out. I am the rock of my family. My husband and son are extremely supportive and will do what needs to be done. But like many people, if he doesnt work , there is no pay. I put the pictures of me looking regular , because I am. Some think I shouldnt do that because it might ruin the perception of me being glamorous. LOL!! I can transform anytime I want. I realize this is long.. but I am doing this for 2 reasons. The first is since coming back into music and letting people know me, here is where I feel I have a family that shows and shares their love and concerns and takes time to let me know. I have also met some people that have become such great friends, I believe I will be in contact with forever. And the second reason, is that maybe by reading this, someone wont be afraid to get a biopsy OR for the people who strongly believe I am making the WRONG choice.. they will be validated if this choice I made turns out to be the wrong one. Thank you to everyone who has been helping me... If not for all of this music I have already made and am making.. I would be in darkness
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 20:35:13 +0000