So what do you do when you truly know you did it to yourself. Nothing I can say or do can turn back the clock... For so long Ive held grudges over something and maybe I had my reasons but when anger is triggered by 1) a false statement and 2) a message i didnt get for a whole month... Yeah I did this to myself but I just wish I was able to know what I know now. I figured it out on my own without help.... But knowing I didnt have to because I had family reaching out is really painful. It goes beyond the job I was trying to save. It goes beyond the grudges. I will call people out who piss me off. But this time Ive pissed myself off the most. I know this is a repeat post but for all the times Ive expressed anger at others... Im more mad at myself for what I did and said about this relative than I was about doing what I did to my ex (at least a miss diagnosis and the wrong pills and lack of therapy can be kind of understood) this time there are no issues on my end no drug problem no excuses. I was so wrong. Maybe Im obsessed with how awful I am for it? Maybe I deserve to be. Fixing this is undoable. Im certain there is just too much damage. So what can I do to generate positivity elsewhere..........
Posted on: Fri, 08 Aug 2014 20:08:08 +0000
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