Some New Years Resolutions for your dog: 1) I will not play tug-of-war with Dads underwear when hes on the toilet. 2) The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. 3) I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when Im lying under the coffee table. 4) I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. 5) I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. 6) I will not eat the cats food, before or after they eat it. 7) I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. 8) I will not throw up in the car. 9) I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers. 10) I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. 11) I will not eat other animals poop. 12) I will not lick my humans face after eating animal poop. 13) I will not roll my head around in other animals poop. 14) The litter box is not a cookie jar. 15) I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end. 16) I will not chew my humans toothbrush and not tell them. 17) I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, so my people will think I am hemorrhaging. 18) When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when its raining outside. 19) I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet. 20) We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. 21) I will not steal my Moms underwear and dance all over the back yard with it. 22) The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dads laps. 23) My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 24) I will not bite the officers hand when he reaches in for Moms drivers license and car registration. Happy New Year!
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 03:04:00 +0000
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