Some days I forget… I forget how much Grace’s death has affected other people in their lives. It’s not that I don’t care about other’s feelings. It’s just that I get so focused on my own grief and trying to keep my head above water that other people sort of fade into the background. I was flicking through my Facebook newsfeed just yesterday morning after I had woken up when I came across a post by one of Grace’s aunties. I know that Grace’s passing has affected all of our family members but I supposed I had never thought of her passing causing sleepless nights for others. I really wish I could take their pain away. It is horrible enough for us to have to live through this but for others to have to endure it as well just breaks my heart. We were so blessed to be given the chance to get to know this beautiful little girl. She has changed the lives of so many people. We were blessed to see so many people touched by her existence. Grace has created this strength and resilience in me. This strong desire that I now have to help other people who are travelling this same path. I will be forever grateful to her for that. The days of absolute sadness are slowly retreating. Don’t get me wrong I still have days and moments where I cannot believe that this is the situation that I find myself in. I still have days and moments when the silence surrounds me and I feel like my heart has shattered into a million little pieces and will never be whole again. I allow myself those moments and even embrace them. There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to feel that way. But you have to be prepared to pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. So in moving forward I try to shape my life to do things that would make my little girl proud. I want to raise awareness within my local community about miscarriage, stillbirth and neo-natal death. I want to raise awareness on social media as well. These are things that need to be spoken about. We shouldn’t be made to feel that we are alone or without support. If we want to talk about our children we should be able to talk about them freely without fear of being judged or making people uncomfortable. Our children were real, they were here and we miss them every day. So let’s make this page a safe place for people to share their stories and feelings. Help me to spread the word. It is ok to miss these children. They are a part of our lives and always will be. We are a community of strong parents, aunties, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and anyone else that I may have missed out, that have lost precious family members and we aren’t afraid to share these stories. My greatest hope is that this group grows and reaches more and more people. So many people don’t know what it is like to be in this situation or how to deal with people who are in this situation, if we spread the word it might help to make others feel more comfortable talking to families that have lost their little ones and in turn help us to feel less alone ~ Ruth
Posted on: Thu, 07 Aug 2014 02:29:07 +0000