Some of the lessons my wife taught me Posted by Dunamis Tunde Okunowo The year was 1995. I was newly engaged to my wife and everything looked so great for me. You will understand better how I felt because she was the very first (and of course the last) person I proposed to in my life! After those initial days of being so much in love to the point that you cannot reason and think, I finally was able to think a little, and then I began to notice some real differences between us. Due to the fact that we lived in the same compound while in the University (It was a big hall with male and female section) we often left the hall together for fellowships and meetings. I was very prompt. I was quick and nimble and always alert. My wife is the opposite. So after having to wait severally and almost getting late for meetings, I began to complain. I started complaining because I was misinformed. I wanted her to be quick like me. I had not read any book on temperaments or on male/female differences, so I felt her opposite mannerisms was a minus. After, I read some books; I saw where I had been making a mistake. You see, what happens is that opposite attracts. You fall in love with a lady because she is quick and fast which is something you lacked or vice-versa. You always fall in love with somebody who seems to have something you don’t have. But after a while, the very opposite qualities that attracted you begin to irritate you. This happens after you have passed those initial days of blinded love. Most relationships never survive this stage. For me, it was the books I read and the wisdom of God that helped me. The scripture says, if any lack wisdom, let him ask… One of the greatest lessons my wife has taught me is that you cannot change anybody. Even when you pray and ask God to change your spouse, God will always answer you by showing you areas you need to change first! You see, my wife does her things gently and deliberately! I once asked her jokingly why she does her things in slow motion! (Don’t tell her I told you, my dinner is precious to me) But now I have come to understand that my own weaknesses are balanced by her strength and her weaknesses by my strength! While I am quick and wake up with a start in the morning, my wife wakes up gradually. She boots! But by the time she finally stands up, she is done praying and planning her whole day. I don’t know how to do that, if I lie down to pray, I would be deceiving myself! The way we write are different and sometimes, people say they prefer her style to mine! I love that! My wife, with her busy schedule, is the one that writes the daily devotionals for the Kiddies and Teenagers! She’s great! She is better writing with stories than I am! My wife is good in administration and managing people than I am. Incidentally, all that were enhanced by the gentle ways she does her things. I wonder how she would have become a branch manager in an international company today that she is if I have ignorantly ruptured that quality of hers. You see the point? Stop fighting your spouse on account of being different. What would the world be like if everybody were like you? This does not mean we should be rigid, we actually should be flexible. But we must accept our partners and spouses first. Celebrate each other’s uniqueness. Encourage your spouse and let the treasure within emerge! It’s a key to prosperity. There is something your spouse is doing in your life. Celebrate your partner/spouse and let him/her know you value him/her. It would be counter-productive if all you do is criticize! That is the beginning of eliminating a lot of quarrels at home. My wife taught me to sacrifice things I thought I would never let go. She loves her music coming out so low I wonder how she can hear it. I love my mine so loud, it could tear the car or the roof apart. Right now, she has converted me, I don’t even know whether I want music again, as I love quietness when I am doing some serious work. At a point, I just let go and let her have her way. That is the way to go. A good leader should not insist! You should actually sacrifice, and then you will see her sacrifice for you too! CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a love being. I have what it takes to fulfill God’s commandment of loving her. PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me love how my wife that I may receive the blessing of marriage. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:22 KJV Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a weekend off and ask your wife in what ways she wants you to love her. Find out what hurts her.
Posted on: Mon, 07 Oct 2013 08:23:04 +0000
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