Some people have wanted to share my earlier status but for some reason couldnt so I wanted to try again in hope it may help someone. I havent spoke about this to more than a few close friends and family but 12 months ago after feeling like I had a dark cloud over my head for 3.5 years and hating myself I finally went to the drs. Grief was causing me severe anxiety and depression and the day I went to the drs on July 30 2013 I could barely speak and can only describe it as feeling dead Inside- I was completely numb, I had no interest in going out or talking to anyone. I didnt want friends and became a good actress. I had to hand an A4 piece of paper to the gp to explain how I felt as I couldnt say the words out loud as I felt so low and feared I would have a nervous breakdown . I was prescribed medication that has really helped me get through difficult times and feel more happy and positive again. Seeking help was so hard and I was scared I would lose the girls but I am so glad I got help and my gp continues to support me on a monthly basis. I still struggle and am not yet able to connect with people emotionally which is basically an emotional shutdown which I cant do anything about. Recognition if what inner pain feels like for some people is so important although its sad that I takes another person taking their life for people to feel ok about talking about it.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 22:10:47 +0000
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