Something I wrote for another forum in answer to the question: what makes a man ask a woman to dance if hes never seen her before? If you want to dance, dont sit - and most definitely engage with the dance floor. If you want (or have to) sit and chat, do in during track 2 & 3 once you know youre definitely not going to get anyone for that particular tanda. But be ready to re-engage way before the tanda ends. If you watch carefully, you will see that the women who dance the most are usually the ones who are already dancing, while some others are locked out. Thats because you can already start catching peoples eyes as you walk off the dance floor, as much as the fact that people have seen you dancing. In tango as in life - the most desirable you appear (i.e. Others want to dance with you, or your body language suggests quiet confidence) the more you will be sought after. So stand and walk around, use the roaming cabeceo (you can initiate too! Just a look and a smile are enough to express interest if youre wary of appearing too eager). Carry a fan, it gives you something to do so you dont look like youre on the prowl, and is a great way to attract attention as well as flirting a little ;-). And if things are really not going your way - go home (or switch your mindset to social event mode and catch up with friends). The more you sit out wanting to dance, the more annoyed/despondent you will feel, and the more your body language will reflect that. And the more unlikely you are to get dances. Not only that, but if you allow the inevitable negative thoughts that will ensue (not good enough/not attractive enough/no-one likes me/Im a fool and should give up) to take hold, they can do as much harm as if they really happened (our primitive brain cant tell the difference and the stress reaction will be the same). So be kind to yourself at all times! I normally have a very good time, and get lots of dances (thanks to following my own advice, ha!) but recently I went to an event where it just wasnt happening for me (looking back, I know why) so when I felt myself becoming increasingly agitated, with my mojo in my shoes, and my energy flatlined, I just took myself home, went to bed earlier than anticipated, got up all refreshed the next day, and turned my weekend around :-) One last piece of advice thats worked really well for me too: keep a diary of all the GOOD dances and compliments you get. Its easy to forget they ever happened when we have an off night, and focus on all the negative stuff instead. X
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 08:14:29 +0000
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