Something else concerns me and it hurts, see Im, Im single, Im a single man, I dont have nobody, Im looking for somebody and- but Im meeting a lot of women out there, and you got some beautiful women, but you got some out there that, uh, I gotta say somethin. Um... some of you are not washing your ass properly.* (laughter & applause) OK? Dont- dont get me wrong, not all, some of you, you know what Im sayin, uh... Im sorry, Cause uh, listen, now, I dont know what it is a woman got to do to keep up the hygiene on the body I know, uh, Im watching douche commercials on television, and Im wonderin if some of you are reading the instructions. I dont think so. Yknow, cause Im getting with some of the ladies, smelling odors, going Wait a minute. (gestures with index finger) Girl, smell this! This you! Smell yourself, girl. Smell yourself! I tell a woman in a minute, douche! douche! Some women dont like when you tell them that, when you straightforward with them. Douche! They, (imitating woman) Forget you! You cannot douche all the time, youre gonna wash all the natural juices out the body. I say, well, I dont give a damn what you do, put a Tic-Tac in your ass. Put a Cert in your ass. Oh, oh, yknow, this look like a good damn place for a Stick-up up in your ass. Im sorry, yall. You got to wash properly. You know, and then, you know, cause Im a man, I like to kiss on women, you know, I like to kiss all over their bodies, you know. But if youre not clean in your proper areas I cant... you know... kiss all over the places I wanna kiss. You know, some womenll let you go down, you know what Im sayin, knowin they got a yeast infection. (Some audience disgust) Im sorry. Sorry. Come up with dough all on your damn lip... Got a bagel and a croissant on your lip. Anybody got any butter? I like jelly on mine. Well look here, yall, we got a great show for you tonight, cause Im here. (Cheers and applause) Thats right. Im here, Crash- yo, yo! Crash Test Dummies are here so yo, well be back, hang on, we gonna be back, we gonna do our thing! (removes shirt and conducts martial arts moves) This is a transcript from the SNL sketch that got him banned for life.
Posted on: Wed, 19 Mar 2014 13:30:32 +0000
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