Sometimes its the people who seem to have it all together and are living the life that are suffering the most. I think most of us suffer some forms of depression at one time or another because lets face it... Lifes a dick sometimes and sometimes your own brain can be just as bad. Its hard to just talk to someone about being depressed. No one whats to be seen as a burden or be judged.. Its hard to reach out sometimes in fear of that . I think the only way it can change is if we can be honest enough to confront it so I would like to start with myself. I think Im lucky in a lot of ways I have things that others do not. I have an amazing (large) family that I know would do anything for me and are always there when I need them and I know love me very much and would do anything for me and I also know a lot of people that would help only if I asked.... But I dont... Ive always wanted people to think of me as doing well and being strong even though Im crumbling inside. Prob has something to do with love of batman.. Plays with all the super heroes even though he doesnt have any powers of his own... Under the cowl hes just a man. But thats something for you budding psychologists to work out :) Now I want to say this isnt a cry for help Im doing fine.. Really. I have good days and bad but Im good. This is more to encourage other people to talk. I am surrounded by many people and even the people close to me dont know. I feel I know a lot of people but Im not sure how many of them I could call a close friend and this makes me feel encredibly lonely sometimes. it doesnt really help that Im a bit of a recluse and enjoy my own company but the biggest problem I think is my inability to reach out to people. I almost never send the first msg..Like never . I have this weird thing where I dont want to bother people, if they want to talk to me they will message me first. So a lot of the time its nothing and people drift apart... It happens I know thats a lot to do with me. Probably why I always work so much. I like to feel needed and serve a purpose. This also has is a big part to do with me being single I think. We have all had our hearts broken and Im no different. I have loved very deeply and had my heart broken...Its not a great feeling so I tend to avoid it. I dont really take the risk and put myself out there unless I know 100% they feel the same and Im incredibly bad at reading signals but everyone wants to feel loved. Everyone wants to be someones first thought in the morning and last thought at night.. Me too, Ill get there But basically the reason behind this is we all have our problems and issues we are working on Im just as broken as you are. sometimes you need to vent or to have someone understand. I know all to well its hard to reach out but I wanted people to know Im here. You dont have to pour your heart out to me but Sometimes a conversation with someone else thats putting themselves back together can help you do the same.. Sorry for the length and most of you have probs tuned out by now but... As most people know I keep odd hours so feel free to msg me whenever 0401 303 434 maybe we can put a smile on both our faces.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 11:34:22 +0000
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