Sometimes we forget we all started somewhere!!!! Ok Ill start these are my and not necessarily anyone elses opinion ... There is a question that is constantly asked by non and by new responders that seems to push people over the edge. The question : What was your worst call? ok though this question evokes great debate and emotion, I think its a valid one.... Yep I said it.... Its ok!! Omg a responder went to the other side..... Lol no not really... First I am not the same person I was 18+ years ago when I took my maiden ride along with the boys at Austin FD station 32..... I remember the fear of the unknown..... The self questioning on whether or not I was doing the right thing...... I remember the awe as I looked at seasoned responders... The cool, calm collected fearless mentors that always seemed all knowing as if the day they were born God blessed them with super human abilities.... Oh how I admired these firefighters and medics as they allowed me to bask in thier world of despair.....Back then on those maiden voyages where everything was new and not always so shinny.... This question probably would of been answered totally different than today..... The last words of the dying.... The cries of a mother for her child..... The family member you called...... Hard moments on any day!!!!! The blood on your hands from these lives touched, doesnt always wash off!!!!! Thats a fact..... However looking back I havent forgot how it felt to be new..... The idk can I really do this.... The what happens when or if I get on a call and I cant do my job??? Yea you probably thought it.... Let you in on a secret.... ( we all have at some point!) if you do not value the fact your treatment can help and also harm your patient.... Well I dont want you working on anyone!!! You have to respect the job.... Now Im not saying get so emotionally involved your unable to preform your duties.... But care enough to realize the lives you touch are valuable.... They have meaning and they have purpose!!!! You have to C A R E!!!!!! Yep I said the 4 letter word society has somehow convinced us shows weakness and loss of focus!!!!!! BS..... If you dont care and if nothing bothers you... Your spent and have no buisness In this field.... Be it Fire, EMS or Law Enforcement! Now back to your worst call..... See at this point in my career its not call its calls...... They might not measure up to others images.... However these calls touched my soul a little harder than others.... For different reasons..... How about turning a pt over to realize its not a stranger.... But someone you know very very well.... , how about working a double fiery fatality and having the lone survivor a 7 yr old scream for her mom, only for her to tell you, my moms name is the same as yours.... A mother who will never hold her child again.....Working a self inflicted attempted suicide on your own brother with a 270...... My own child calling me for help because his father had a horrific hunting accident and was critically injured...... The drowning of a child with such a promising future..... You see those first days and maybe even years... No one could prepare me for those calls...if asked if I could handle them... If honest with myself ... The answer would of been I hope so... But I dont know.... You see we all have a breaking point... The reality is no one knows till they are faced with something how they will or wont function..... So when Im asked what was my worst call.... I dont get mad... I try to remember how I felt new and all wonder eyed... Looking for a piece to the puzzle to prepare me for the reality Id one day face........ You also need to realize, some of why worst calls are also some of my best..... My friends found comfort knowing someone who cared and loved their family member was there working and willing to do anything to save their loved one..... The 7 yr old graduated as valedictorian and I was there as she gave her speech......., our families adopted each other that day.......... my little brother who survived his injuries and gave us 18 more months till he was taken due to a medical condition.....My 10 yr old son as he was awarded responder of the year for the care he provided to his dad...My sweet Eagle Scout that lives on In the bodies of military members.... Knowing he served his country more than most could ever fathom .... I personally feel its all in perspective...... Yes there are moments we never want to relive... They hurt . guess what, they should.... Caring does not make you weak.... In fact caring makes you human.... Most patients get better, most survive.... But if we dont allow ourselves to feel the bad...... Me also numb ourselves to the good!!!! Be someones hero today!!!! Start with yourself......
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 15:40:14 +0000
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