Sorry fandom, but I kinda have to go on a little venting spree. Please bear with me. I know I havent been the best admin, heck, I went on a couple month Hiatus and still dont post regularly. I have my reasons, but due to the nature of those events, I dont know if I can freely speak about them here. A couple months after I joined, my life took a turn for the worse, but it was due to my own doing. I made a lot of bad decisions in my life due to me just being stupid. Ive turned into everything I always said I wouldnt, and its disheartening to know that I undermined my own future dreams with my own choices. Ive been in the dark for awhile now. I stopped posting, I stopped talking to my fellow admins, and even worse, I completely shut myself off from the world, family and friends included. It was bad. Ive always been the type of person that would help shoulder the burdens of other people, because thats just how I am. I would put others before myself if that could make them happier or make it easier for them, because, like Komari, it made me happy when others were happy. It truly is a great theory of hers, especially when you can see it work for yourself. But due to this, I would never burden anyone with my problems. I always solved my own problems and never asked for help. When I ended up where I am, I put up such huge walls around myself that I couldnt break down. I would refuse to talk to anyone, wouldnt admit I had a problem because it felt like I was defeating myself. Its a downward spiral of not asking for help, but then suffering more because you dont know what to do. But, my friends of the KSC community noticed something was wrong and took actions into their own hands. They pulled me from the darkness that I had ended up. They offered me help and hope, something no one I physically knew ever offered me. They accepted me even when I had lied to them about what was going on. Not only did they help me when I needed support, but would take the time out of their busy day to check up on me, even if I wasnt online. Facebook messages, text messages, whatever. It was a lifeline. The family that I made through this page is why I am still around today. If I never applied, if I never joined, I honestly dont know where Id be right now. Its the reason I absolutely adore this little group of ours. A lot of people will say the stories of Key have changed their life, however, I believe the people, friends, family I have met from this group has been my savior. And I am truly blessed to have become a part of you all. What Im trying to get at, is dont fall for the same trap I set myself up for. If you have problems bringing yourself to ask for help because you think its embarrasing or pathetic, thats when you need help the most. Your real friends wont turn you away, because they want to help the person they love and care about just as much as you would. If that still isnt an option for you, reach out to someone. Reach out to me, because Ive been to the lowest of the low. I have no problem listening to other peoples problems, because like I said, I enjoy helping people and seeing them happier than they were before. Its amazing how in a day like ours, its easy to forget how much people can actually care for you. Heck, Ive never met a single admin from this page in real life, yet they helped me more than any person I have ever met. Reach out if you are in despair, someone will lend a hand. I promise you that. My fellow family here has listened to my problems with no bias or judgement, and I wanna offer the same thing to anyone that needs it. But what I really want to say, I am thankful to be a part of this wonderful community, I am thankful for the love that has been show to a screw up like myself. And I want you all to feel the same. Arigatou. I leave this beautiful Kanon song for your troubles of reading this wall of text. https://youtube/watch?v=kzkrxAjsPpc -Akio Furukawa Admin
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 09:09:04 +0000
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