Sorry for reposting but the bottom half of my face book page disappeared. Friends please message me instead of posting here because I want to keep my daughters story at the top of the page to help others escaping the cult of JWs. I was a Mormon and quite discouraged with my faith because of the abuse I had suffered as a child while a Mormon so I had been agnostic for about 5 years. I was in a difficult marriage and just had my first child. Was suffering from post partum depression and did not know what was wrong with me. I was so sad that I felt suicidal and in desperation prayed out to God for help because my Mom had been suicidal and there was no way I wanted to do that to my daughter. So I prayed out loud to God for help and begged him to send someone to me to help me spiritually and promised him if he did I would raise my daughter to believe in him. I realize now it was the demons who heard my prayer and sent the witnesses to my door. Well because they showed up the next morning I assumed it was the answer to my prayer and let them start a Bible study with me. The path to hell was not paved with good intentions with them. Right from the start they informed me to expect persecution and influenced me to not tell my husband I was studying with them. What kind of religion seeks to destroy a marriage? If only I had not been decieved and so innocent. Very quickly they made me aware of the bedroom rules and that caused my husband to look elsewhere for affection. We did stay married another 4 years but he eventually left me for another woman. He was he the love of my life. I got married at age 16 and we lasted 8 years. It is horrible when you lose your love and your child to a cult. The year was 1975 and the WT society was ablaze with new Bible studies. I was a pioneers dream come true as I was so hungry for Bible knowledge I wanted to study twice a week and they were long 3-4 hours sessions. What a dream for a pioneer in cold Alaska. The person who studied with me told me years later they could hardly keep up with me as I was such a sponge. I am convinced now in retrospect that if I had any prior Bible knowledge I would of quickly dismissed the cult. But as a Mormon you do not learn a lot about the Bible. Lately I have gone through quite a spiritual struggle inside with anger at God for letting this happen to me. But now I think he allowed it to happen so I can help people online who are trapped by religious cults. Oddly enough I now put in more time doing this than I ever did as a regular or auxillary pioneer. I have found the training I got going through pioneer school twice has enabled me to be a better online counselor for depressed young people. I do free online counseling in honor of the memory of my daughter who was a victim of domeestic violence by this cult at the tender age of 23. The police report in Alaska said she took her own life but I have my doubts after my own investigations. The elders told her she had to go back to her husband or be disfellowshipped. We lived in seperate cities and I did not know what was going on. Of course the witnesses had to tell me all the sorded details after it was too late for me to do anything. Tanya married in 96 and I married again a few months after she did. I had decided a long time ago that I would finish raising her and keep her safe until I sought another mate. It was a lonely 17 years and I kept busy by lots of minsitry work, volunteer work and helping others. I did many things the witnesses never knew as I knew they would not approve. I did volutneer work to help the handicapped and the vets of vietnam. I operated a nonprofit food bank in Alaska out of pocket for 4 years and fed many poor people in the Matanuska Valley. I fought mental health rights in Alaska and kept couseling open for children. Imagine there was a politician inside of me and it makes me sad to have not done more with my life. There is so much to say here but in the interests of getting this story out to help the exwitness community going to do a reduced version here but fear it will become a small book eventually as I come back and edit. So back to 1996 when we both got married. Tanya married someone on the rebound after a broken heart. I married a brother who had been baptize a year but seemed nice. Well he was a pedophile and the elders did not warn me. He was a very abusive man and did things to cause a rift between my daughter and I and she was not speaking to me a year before she died. I still feel if we were speaking she would still be alive and we both would of left the organization in 1998 together. But what ifs can only drive you crazy. Typing this is hard on me because it is bringing up all the pain in my heart I try to bury. This story is not finished yet but contains a few more details.
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 23:21:48 +0000