Spend some time.. (Conversation between a Customer and his Pizza Chain Operator in 2025) Operator: Good Evening Tombstone! Customer: Hello, can you please take my order? Operator: We have Special Discounts for Aadhar Card Holders, Can I have your multi purpose Aadhar card number first, Sir? Customer: Yeah! Hold on….. My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610 Operator: OK… Thanks for calling us Mr Kaushal Singh, as per our records, your Home number is 40942366, your Office number is 76452302 and your Mobile is 8426625666. Since you are calling from you Home now do you want your Pizza at your Home at 17/A, Daya Building Janakpuri? Customer: (Astonished) How did you get all my phone numbers? Operator: We have a fully connected access to “The System”, Sir. Customer: I wish to order your Seafood Pizza… Operator: That’s not a good idea Sir. Customer: How come? Operator: According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir. Customer: What?… What do you recommend then? Operator: Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it. Customer: How do you know for sure? Operator: You borrowed a book titled ‘Popular Hokkien Dishes’ from the Government Library last week, sir. Customer: OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then. Operator: That should be enough for your family of 6, Sir. The total is Rs. 2,450 Plus a 50 Rs Discount. Customer: Can I pay by credit card? Operator: I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your BSI Bank Credit Card Rs. 1,51,758 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your Personal Loan, Sir. Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives. Operator: You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve exhausted even your overdraft limit of your Current Account with Bank of Daroda. Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway? Operator: All our persons are busy at the moment Sir, it will take about 45 minutes, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle. Customer: What? But I don’t have one. Operator: You do Sir, According to the details in The System , you own a motorcycle registration number DL-02-1123. Customer: “????” (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcycle number too!) Operator: Is there anything else, sir? Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised, 1 per Pizza? Operator: We normally would sir, but based on your System Records, you’re also Diabetic… and have claimed Medical Insurance twice last year Sir, In the best interest of your health, we are holding this offer for you. Customer: Teri Maa XXXXXX …… You AsXXXX…..@!))) Operator: Better mind your language sir. Remember on 15th July 2022 you were imprisoned for 2 months and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive language against a policeman Sir, The next imprisonment for a similar offence is 6 months Sir, Can you stay away for 6 months from our Pizza…? By the way Enrollment for Aadhar Card is available free near your Locality, Enroll today and you may also get Special Discount on Pizzas by 2025.
Posted on: Mon, 19 Aug 2013 09:52:33 +0000
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