Start by finding the positive/the Peace, and then build-up each other! Romans 14:18-19 18The one who thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and has human approval. 19Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Thomas Gordon in the 1960s coined the term “I message” and later developed the concept of “self-talk”. Oversimplifying his point, Dr.Gordon discovered how a message is phrased impacts the recipient (especially children, and even ourselves). I’ll assert that how we phase a message can have a profound impact on others and our happiness. The theory goes that using negative words/phrases (like “don’t ” “you always” “this sucks” “that’s dumb” … ) triggers something in our minds that establishes a negative perspective. Whatever follows, even if meant to be helpful, actually tears down people from the inside. The classic example? Teacher-to-student with coaching that tears downs: “Don’t you think you could re-world this section better? You made it really confusing.” Vs talk that builds-up and encourages: “I read this section a few times before I got your great point. Perhaps rewording it, could make the paper stronger?” Dr.Gordon found these subtle differences can change entire climates around people, their ability to perform, grow and improve. The impact of “I statements” and “Self Talk” has since been applied far beyond family systems to everything from coaching, management dynamics, conflict resolution, depression management, and many more areas. How we talk to others and what we tell ourselves can either tear down or if re-framed positively we can help build-up others and improve our perspective on things as well. A theme throughout St.Paul’s letters is that as Christians, following Christ’s model in how he supports us, we should build-up each other. He writes extensively about this, even addressing how we should talk to one another (Ephesians 4:29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.) I’ll assert that God gives us all things to help us grow and to build us up. One job as a Christian is to use God’s Grace & Peace to embrace the positive in a situation, in others, and in ourselves. Then we are to build-up each other as Christ supports us. Just a thought. All views on today’s reading are welcome.
Posted on: Wed, 25 Sep 2013 14:20:38 +0000
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