Sunday night, phone rings, mom hands it to me in and says with a whisper,its a survey, then practically ran to the other room already laughing because she knew what was to come... Me: (in my awkward trying to sound elderly voice: hello? Him: HI this is Larry Searling and Im conducting a survey.. Me: (cutting him off). Gary stearling! Boy I have not heard from you in a long time, how are you doing? Him: no, Larry Searling and I .. Me: Gary, how is Margaret doing, its been years since Ive talked to her. When they asked her to leave the Bunco club because of her cursing and dipping in the sauce, I felt really bad, did she ever get her license back? Him: maam I am Larry and I am not a personal friend of hers, I am conducting a religious survey and.. Me: oh praise god, I am sure glad she found you for some help. I knew she had a problem when she couldnt contain herself at Bunco one night and asked if we could bring the mens club in for some poker one night. I didnt make it to church today, since I fell the other day and hurt my hip, well, I dont get out that much now Him: sorry to hear this, do you watch tv? Me: I dont watch it too much, there are a lot of terrible things on there. I just sit here and talk to my dog Sophie. You know Gary, since Charles passed, it gets pretty lonely around here. I do watch the weather (him trying to get me to shut up, maam, maam) the weatherman said this winter is supposed to be colder and snowier than last year Him: is there someone else there I can talk to? Me: no just Sophie my dog, we talk a lot, she just cant talk to me. My neighbor George was over today. He is a nice guy. Gary, last year when we had all that snow, I ran out of potatoes and he went out in the snow and got me some. I am stocking up this year. Today I made chili, soup beans and some veggie soup and froze it. I want to be ready for the snow. Gary do you like beans? Him: yes maam, but I... Me: I do too Gary, but they make me, well, you know, they give me a little gas. Does Margaret still cook for the good dinners? Before she stopped going to church and starred drinking, she could make the best cabbage rolls, but I had to stop eating them, they gave me gas and one day I sharted in church! You know, what that is? Well the worst part I was sitting in the first pew...and I had to toss my bloomers in the can in the mens room because the ladies room was full, I bet Margaret remembers that and Gary,... Him: (interrupting again) have a good evening *click* Ahh... Feeling accomplished!
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 01:57:35 +0000
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