Superfluous Tags By Randall Andrews eatsleepwrite.net/superfluoustags In a story, you can’t eliminate all the He said or the He asked, because sometimes the weight of description bogs down the story and the nature of description, although showing, can interfere with the expediency needed to get the plot moving along, and the truth is, He said and he asked are invisible tags when used as stand alone tags. However, if you have AND and any of those other tags, I will say to you, it is because youve given action already and there is no need for the additional tag. Simple example, Mary and Bill are talking, Bill is in a serious conversation with Mary and it goes something like this. Bill paced the floor, tired of being kept awake so late. He turned to Mary and asked, “Mary, can’t you please leave it alone?” She was indignant and fired back at him, “No!” He asked her, “Why?” She circled back around the bed and said, “Because this is too important to let go.” She cried and said, “It’s killing our marriage.” Bill put his drink down and tried to calm his wife. He kissed her on the forehead and asked, “Would it be better if I didn’t invite my secretary home to sleep in our bed with us?” Mary smiled and said, “I think so.” Every one of those sentences has superfluous tags. In the first sentence, it is complete when the sentence is structured: Bill paced the floor, tired of being kept awake so late. He turned to Mary. “Mary, can’t you please leave it alone?” (The original “and asked” was unnecessary; he does that in the question.) READ THE REST ON eatsleepwrite.net/superfluoustags Place a book cover ad, post your stories, chapters & poetry on Eat Sleep Write; broaden your readership. Authors.Sharing.Conversations. EatSleepWrite.net/authorspotlight Twitter: @EatSleepWriting Facebook: https://facebook/EatSleepWrite LinkedIn: linkedin/in/adamscull
Posted on: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 03:53:13 +0000
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