THANKSGIVING DAY. 1621, thats when it all started when, according to the chronicles of Edward Winslow, the Mayflower colonists sent a note back to Tescos ordering a couple of dozen turkeys, 12 packets of sagenonion stuffing, a dozen crates of brown ale and some bottles of pop for the nippers. The boss at Tesco was so pleased to receive such a handsome order that he included 2 apple pies, a pumpkin pie and a bottle of cherry brandy free and gratis. Im not sure how the goods were shipped since this was all before Virgin Atlantic, nonetheless a great feast was had and this bounty was so generous that the local injuns, the Wampanoag, were invited to share and join in the celebrations. Mr Winslow does note that this was the first and last harmonious get together between Europeans and aboriginal Americans, scalping was soon to become the sport of choice. At this point its time to note the name of the colony, because everyone had big buck teeth, was Massive Chew Sets, which over years of change has come to be known as Massachusetts. Anyway, over the years the turkey feast became a tradition which even the Soap Dodgers, led by that rascally Montcalm, could not disrupt. It became so successful that Tesco opened a branch at Cape Cod calling their new world store Wallmart, and so The Great American Dream was born. (It was many years later that the local coke baron invented Christmas in order to capitalise on The Dream). Then, in 1863, along came a bloke called Abe, who was in charge at the time, and he decided that all the states would observe the celebrations in November, since this is the off season for wars and things. He said everyone gets a day off work so they could eat turkeys all day long, and so was born The Great American Tummy, which also became very popular. The rest is history really. These days the munching is accompanied by a football (misnomer) game, much Miley twerking, two shilling petrol, a bottle of Bud and new size zero frocks for the ladies. What a grand party. I wish all my friends in The New World a great and happy day for tomorrow. Eat, drink and be merry. (Footnote: I am available as a history tutor if your kids need some true and accurate assistance with names, dates, events and things).
Posted on: Thu, 28 Nov 2013 11:01:36 +0000
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