THE BIG THREE, There has been a misconception that the three - TopicsExpress

THE BIG THREE, There has been a misconception that the three most powerful words in the universe are, I love you. That would be incorrect; any good crone knows that the three most powerful words in the universe are, I dont know. An elderly friend gave me the gift of stupidity early on but I had to chaw on it for years before I finally learned how to use it. Jill, she said, it took me YEARS to get this dumb. At the time I was a recently graduated collegiate academic and I thought to myself, “why would anyone want to be dumb?” As the years have rolled by and I have achieved the honor of crone status I get it... dumb is the new smart. Blondes get it: So, why would anyone want to be dumb? After years of solving problems for members of the household that require my attention I have found its a smart thing to acquire. For instance, when my daughter tells me she doesnt understand a concept. The four alarm fix-it-bell goes off in my head. I stop what Im doing, tap into my brain stores and with my limitless knowledge on the whatever the subject is at hand, solve her problem. This takes up my allotted free time and distracts me from whatever it was I was trying to accomplish. Second case in point: my husband tells me he cant find the peanut butter, pepper, long underwear, hat, gloves, (fill in the blank) that is currently residing in plain sight. Some how the misplaced item miraculously reappears when I merge with the find-it-force and re locate the missing item with Mom radar. Say it and mean it: The I-dont-know response is mandatory gear that should be used in every womans arsenal of household defense. Used correctly it can give you more free time, stop distractions in your life, lessen stress levels, and stop your hair from turning gray. There are several options to choose from. Try the sincere version, boy, you know... I just dont know, or the apologetic stance, dont know hon, sorry, or the standard short and sweet version dont know. If you’re non-verbally inclined try the hands up gesture with a shoulder shrug and the head tilted to one side, a blank expression assists in the delivery. Sometimes I-don’t-know is very effective when coupled with the phrase, I-haven’t-seen-it. Use it or Lose it: There is no longer a reason to lose your temper at the gazillion interruptions that occur in a woman’s day-to-day activities. The I-don’t-know response frees you up from the responsibility of assisting fellow household dwellers as berating someone with a dull, glazed, look on their face just doesn’t make you feel good inside. Remember young women as you aspire to greatness that the only truly happy person … is the village idiot. JMC