*THE CONNECTIONS* Daadu daadu, what is so special in this scarf that you always keep this beside you? I asked my grandfather who has just kept the scarf beside his pillow as usual. The scarf seemed very old and was a mismatch from oddments of wool having the intact fluffy and sparkly wool. Beta, there’s a special story connected with this scarf. As he spoke, there was a touch of nostalgia in his eyes. Tell me na daadu. Is it something related to grandma? I asked eagerly. Haha. Yes. He laughed softly as his fingers softly touched the scarf. You really miss her. Don’t you? I asked looking at him fondly. I do each and every moment. I wish I could again pass this time considering it a long distance relationship. He sighed. Did you and grandma were in long distance relationship? I asked surprised. Yes. It was about 40 years ago. After our parents fixed our marriage, I had to move to another city for some urgent work. He spoke. Then? I asked. Your grandma was very upset. We used to like each other long before our marriage. When she heard the news that I had to go to another city, she denied meeting me before leaving. It was month of November. There was a freezing chill in the air and I was shivering in the night waiting for my train to depart which was late by its time. Just then, I saw an obscure figure, running through every window peeping inside. I soon realised she was your grandma. I quickly got out of the train. She was panting heavily. In her hands was a scarf, beautifully knitted with the oddments of colourful wool. She smiled shyly looking at me and handed me the scarf. He spoke. Did she make the scarf? I asked looking at the scarf in awe. That was what I asked as soon as she gave it to me. She told me that she denied meeting me because she was busy knitting the scarf. Just then I heard the chattering of her teeth, she had wrapped her arms around her shoulders due to the winter. I was in awe of her innocence. I gently took the scarf and draped it around her shoulders. She looked up at me in surprise. ‘Keep this Diya, I’ll come back soon and will take it from you.’ I said and sheepishly pecked at her cheek and boarded the train. I was listening to grandpa and it seemed that it all was happening in front of me. Awww, that was very sweet of you daadu. Grandma must have been touched with your gesture. Tell me na what happened when you moved. I smiled. Those days were spent in anticipating the meeting. Though I was knee-deep engaged in work, yet there was not a single day when I din’t miss her. Those days, there were no cell phones, I used to eagerly wait to receive letter from her. You know what, unlike today, where even voice can despise real emotions, the words scrabbled on that tiny paper used to reveal every intricate feeling. I could feel the brushing of her hands against the letter whenever I used to touch the letter. I could decipher her sadness behind every word. I could feel every emotion she used to undergo while writing it. I knew how her heartbeats paced up when she sneaked out to post the letter. I knew how she would snatch the letter from her friend with a shy and eager emotion. I knew how she would lock herself in the room to read the letter privately. I knew how she would secretly hide the letter in her cupboard. I hardly know about her, but I thoroughly knew her. Grandpa spoke. Wo.. I never knew you and daadi were so close. I teased him. Hahaha. It was just a connection none of us knew how bonded. Then the fortunate day came. After exactly 1 month and 15 days I returned. I was deboarding from the train and there I saw her. She was wearing a pink and green full sleeved suit with long dupatta drooping from her shoulders. Her wheatish skin was glowing with the rosy powder. Her long hair were braided in a pony tail. She was biting her nails probably nervous of what she will say when she’ll meet me. Her big kohl lined eyes were searching for me at the station. I could clearly see the anxiety on her face. In a few minutes, the whole platform that was swarmed with people was becoming desolate. A few crystals of tears were drooping down her eyes and she was constantly wiping them with the scarf she knitted for me. I was feeling very guilty for doing this to her. Yet I was too weak to rush towards her. I was just watching her. She was my priced asset. Going towards her became catching raindrops to me. The rain in front of me was so beautiful that I dare not to touch her. I feared of ruining the divine innocence of her beauty. I giggled when I saw that until then she was unaware that it was not her dupatta but the scarf she was wiping tears from. She quickly brushed the tears from it as such they were not tears but dust spoiling it. I felt stupid and quickly ran towards her. And the smile that adorned her lips then almost killed me. It wasn’t that I forgot how she looked; when I was away I would close my eyes and saw her smiling. But when she was there in front of me, I could notice each and every crease surrounding her eyes from her smile. I could feel the warmth of her happiness. I could feel that wait was over. I could feel that distance neither affected her nor us. And this scarf, this makes me surrounded by her. I could relive that moment like it happened yesterday. I still could feel the essence of her concerned tears in the scarf. I could still feel the clutch of her nervous fingers in the scarf. Being in love at that time was a different place to be lived in. Distance at that time was a different thing that powers love. Love at that time was a different pure and divine feeling. People at that time were different and concerned about feelings of others. Grandpa smiled as he brought the scarf close to his chest. Yes, relationships meant a different thing. Yes, we can’t enjoy the feeling of the anticipated wait to be over. Yes, we can’t free our mind from suspicions. Yes, feelings are a matter of status updates only. Love is still the same, yet people feel it differently. How we can’t feel the connections of hearts anymore but gadgets can. I wondered. P.S: Wrote something after a long time! Please leave your opinions about it. :) © Payal Kedia 2014
Posted on: Tue, 28 Oct 2014 16:45:47 +0000
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