THE PAIN OF LOSING MY CHILDREN - Hanans Story My name is Hanan. I became Muslim over 15 years ago. I love my deen - I was tested with many things but the hardest test is losing my children. This is my story... I fell in love with Islam and I love my deen very much. One of the best things that has happened to me is the guidance I received from Allah. My life since taking my shahaadah has been a rollercoaster of tests. I was in a physically abusive marriage for 10 years. The marriage was never a happy one. It was unstable and we argued a lot, even in front of the children. He was not only abusive towards me but the children too. Although he left us, the abuse continued. It came to point where I found myself being left with a lot of debt. He had spent money on our card and the bills just kept on coming to my house and were in my name. This gave me the strength to finally file for divorce. I couldnt take it anymore, I felt so violated. I lost total self confidence in myself, not only was I being put down constantly, I was being physically abused and to add to this, he was hurting our children too and now he wanted me to suffer financially. All of this had taken a toll on my mental and physical health, I suffered panic attacks a lot and was highly stressed. My family are not in the UK and they were not able to help me. As a new Muslim, this was hard. I thought my life would be happy after becoming a Muslim. I thought these tests were too difficult to bear but Allah had decreed for me to be tested in the worst way a mother can be tested. Alhamdulillah, I was blessed with another opportunity to re-marry. MashaAllah my new husband is nothing like my ex. He was kind to my children and treated us well, but my nightmare started when my ex found out I had remarried. He made serious allegations against me and before I knew it my children were taken from me by social services. It was a very dark and distressing time in my life. Any mother will feel the pain that I felt. The children I gave birth to, the children I loved were suddenly not there. The house was empty. I felt as though my heart was ripped out from my chest and I couldnt focus on anything else other than getting my children back. I didnt know what to do, friends couldnt help. I felt very alone and lost without my children. Children are supposed to be with their mother. I was a mother without her children. They were somewhere alive but I could not see them, hear them, or hold them. I was not allowed. I didnt think I deserved this. I turned to another organisation for help, but they were advising me to get support from my family, friends, neighbours, they asked a lot of questions and were not willing to help me. I dont think people realise that as reverts, we do not have the luxury of support from our family. Often our families are still angry that we chose Islam and chose to leave the way of life we were raised with. So I turned to Solace UK (solaceuk.org), surely they would not turn me away, they understand reverts and our predicaments. Immediately upon contacting Solace UK, I spoke with a sister who listened to me without judging me. I poured my heart out to her and I felt relieved that this charity would help me in so many ways. To date, I have received emotional support from Solace. They have helped me strengthen my relationship with Allah - without a strong connection with Allah, I would not be able to deal with being without my children. They arranged for professional counselling for me which has helped me heal emotionally. Alhamdulilah counselling has been really helpful. There was a point where due to the debts that had mounted, I was faced with possible eviction. Solace supported me at this time and I was able to remain in my home - which was a necessary requirement in order to be able to possibly get my children back - a stable home. Id like to thank everyone at Solace for all their help and support. Solace has supported me throughout during a very difficult period of my life. Theyve taken up my case and offered all the help that they could and more. Definitely more than I was expecting! They followed my case through and made sure that I was well assisted from the very beginning. May Allah reward Solaces team for all their hard work, care, support, help and assistance throughout. Ameen. Alhamdulilah, although my children are still not with me, I know that Allah will give them back to me when the time is right. I have learnt to accept this and I am remaining patiently. I find myself more calmer and accepting of Allahs decree. Allah tests those He loves. Alhamdulillah for Allah, for Islam and for Solace. Please support Solace UK so they can support sisters who are tested like me. solaceuk.org/index.php/donate/donate-to-solace Sister Hanan
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 18:01:39 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015