THE ROPE OF LOVE The Holidays, for the most part, are over. I overate and underworked. I opened and gave gifts, laughed, cried, and had way too much chocolate. I spent time with people I love, and marveled at how the kids and grandkids are growing. I helped Sue out in the kitchen, making sure I remained fairly inept since years ago I discovered the value in that. I walked the dogs, watched a couple of movies and football games, took a few good naps, and all in all, celebrated the goodness of God in the midst of Love. The New Year is upon us, and I, for one, am counting my blessings. How can I help but not? But even as I write this, I know there are many who are struggling - some with ill health, others with financial problems, and more than a few with relationship problems. Such is the stuff of life, and all of us at one time or another have travelled down that weary and frightening path. If not, count your blessings and wait your turn for the trail into the unknown. A friend of mine is wrestling with the unknown today. I pray for him and wish I could shine the light into his future so he would not be afraid of what’s there. After all, what can really harm us when we are held in Universal Love? And I’m not trying to be trite here with the problems life tosses at us, sometimes with a powerful energy which makes us feel we cannot weather the downpour. When we face problems which seems too powerful, it seems to me it’s time to recall that wonderful quote: “I will not rehearse the uncertainty of the future.” I love that thought, even though I’m not sure where it comes from. But, as great as the quote is, I want you to know I’m an expert at rehearsing the unknown. Why, I’ve practiced it most of my life. I usually begin with the words “What if,….” and go from there. I can go into scenarios about the possible pain, the potential loneliness, the shame, and, of course, the total loss of control and whatever spiral follows that. Two years ago this past fall, I was facing Open Heart surgery and the replacement of a new Mitral Valve. When Sue left the hospital that night, I don’t think I have ever felt as alone. Oh, she was coming back in a few hours before they wheeled me out of my room, but I knew we would only have a few minutes to say… to say what? How grateful I am for our years together, and the countless ways she’s loved me? We already have said that over and over. No, there was nothing else to say other than, “I don’t want to be separated from you.” The nurse came in with a special soap and told me to wash my chest for ten minutes. I recall standing in the shower with little pressure and only lukewarm water, washing my chest over and over, only thinking of tomorrow and possible death, a stroke (that’s what the paper I signed said,” and unknown pain. At 3:00 AM, or so I texted Sue and she wrote right back - both of us on the same worry page. At 5:30 AM, I heard the gurney arrive outside my room - Sue wasn’t even there yet. The fear was alive and well, and I was “rehearsing the uncertainty of the future.” But, here i sit today, after going through the surgery and emerging on the other side, with a strong “piggy” value and two new vessels. I felt better and stronger than I had in years. But I have to say, I struggled to trust God and have the confidence I always talk about. This is how it is with trust and fear. Back and forth, back and forth. But each time we manage to survive the latest “unknown,” we are given greater assurance that we are not alone in the unknown. During that night, I trusted God for five minutes and worried for twenty. Then, trust again for minutes with dread trailing right behind. I want to say that this is how it is in life. At least for me. Now, it has been my fortune to know some folks, and sit by their side, who have not slipped into the terror. Perhaps they had practiced more than me; whatever it is, those people give me hope. They teach me that with each entry into the unknown, there is a Rope of Love to grab. I have found it a few times and held on for all I was worth. That’s my friends, is the only way through the unknown. Don’t practice the uncertainty of the future, Remember the countless times you already have walked through the unknown (Just starting first grace, for example, and continuing through school, moving away, starting a new job, having children…. - all of these are the Practice of the Unknown. Why, you’re a pro at this…. Thank God. My Lament for tonight is for those times in my life when I have allowed my fear of the future to motor my life, even though I Know it doesn’t have to be that way. Short Version: There are unknowns in life, starting when we are still children. Each time we move through an unknown, we build our Trust Palace We are never alone in the unknown.
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 21:50:52 +0000
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