THIS IS A LONG STORY BUT A GOOD ONE: It’s Monday morning and I can’t sleep, instead something keeps coming up in my mind that I want to share. As I approach my birthday this month I am reminded that I have out lived a number of my friends and family but, that is not what this little story is about. It’s about miracles. I really don’t care if you believe in God or not but I do. God has been in my life since the beginning of mine and I have been the recipient of many miracles through out that life. Two years ago this last October 9th my wife Lucia passed on to a better life but that was not the miracle. You see I had been praying for Lucia’s recovery but each day grew more grim as she struggled to stay alive. The day she died she had gone into respiratory arrest twice before I arrived at the hospital and twice while I was there. I was in a panic. I could hear her lungs filling with fluid and we suctioned them clear a number of times. In fact I actually suctioned them once while I was attempting to help her in the ICU. Each time we turned her she stopped breathing and a code blue was called. Although it was obvious to the medical staff and even my friend Bob Cox that she did not have a lot of time left, I vowed to her that I would take her home and thats when I asked God for the most selfish miracle that anyone could ask for, I said out loud, take me, not her. Now before you start jumping to the conclusion that I was making a selfless request, that I am some sort of saint for wanting to trade my life for hers, please understand that my prayer, the miracle I was asking for, was to leave Lucia alone, without good health and without real means for a recovery. In her last moments I was trying to bargain with God. As I said when I began this story, God has always been there for me. He allowed me to be with my best friend Paul as he lay dying at home. He allowed me to be with my mother who was dying in her home and he has allowed me to be with those who I loved, who were terminal, because he knew I could be a comfort to those who were passing on, even getting them to laugh or cry before they left. But my miracle was yet to come. God ignored my prayer, oh I am sure he heard it but, god had something else in mind. Lucia was in and out of consciousness those last few hours but suddenly her mind cleared and she looked at me and told me she was cold and could I hold her. I moved to the bed and lifted her gently into my arms, cradling her and looking down into her face and gazing at her eyes. “Why are you still here? she said. I was confused, what do you mean I said. “I’m just amazed that you stuck it out with me all this time, she said clearly. Where else would I be I smiled and stroked her face. Most men would have left years ago when this all started but not you.” “You would have done it for me, I said and she just smiled. Suddenly her face and expression became serious, as if to muster one last attempt to shake off the medication and her illness and she said. I love you so very much, never forget that” and with that she was gone. I was stunned and immediately called for a full arrest code. They worked on her for about 45 minutes but it was obvious to all of us she was gone. My miracle, well God heard my prayer and decided to let me be there, to reaffirm our love one more time, to say goodbye and to speed her on her way, away from the pain, the illness and the ravages of her fight with this disease. So often we think that God is not listening to us, that we are asking for something and god is not granting our wish but god is not a magic genie. It’s not about granting wishes, it’s about the bigger picture and the grand scheme of life and in the end, whether you want to believe it or not, god sees the plan for all of us. I am glad god didn’t answer my prayer, instead he quietly gave me a miracle and I am forever grateful.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 10:03:48 +0000
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