THIS IS AN OPEN LETTER FOR ALL TO READ IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO I AM NOW HERE IT IS!!!! i made this MISTAKE i will NEVER make it AGAIN!!! my lover, best friend, partner, took me probably to the highest of highs that i will ever know most high in love that one could be without being a part of that person one could be he defended me against my worries and foes alike but also exposed me to the lows of being that dependent on one person he was paid by the state to take care of me because i had a stroke in june 2005 i met him in oct. of the same year. By 2008 he bought me my dream home in 2008 by 2010 i was taking care of him cleaning up his messes i lied to people friends my family his family my dr. nurses i had been told by his dr. that his liver was failing shortly after that i had to go in for minor operation he crawled in the bottle and never came back out till it was to late for me and himself while i was being got ready for the operation he was there drunk my best girlfriend and my sister jewls my step mother his brother who was also drinking that morning kippy got in my dr. face drilling him on how many times he lost some one on his table pushed the dr. to the point that he said he would walk out and not do the operation by that point i was almost out of it and didnt know or care what was going onas far as the rest of what happened that day i dont remember i was told that the hospital securety was called to remove kippy from the place he went our home with his brother and put my mothers and jewls things to the door when my sister and my mother went back to our home he told them no that the could not stay there i didnt know all this till much later or i would have intervened some how from there things went down hill alot faster i still stood beside him he became some one i didnt know his brain was being poisened he drank more more fights came he started talking to people that wasnt there it came i was lossing it all the stress trying to make deals with him about trying to quit drinkingbut he never could quit drinking i prayed to god lol foolish me i tried to make deals with god asked the police for help asked my dr. asked even my shrink for help none came i was lost and lost the fight to go on i pushed every one way to heal myself and try to find an aswer to this that i some how thought was my faulti had for the most part been a tee totaler soberstrated to hate some one i loved him and myself on aug. 11 we went out to they local gay bar and we really had a good time came home we were sitting in the living room our room mate went to bed he stay in the bacement of the house kippy and i were talking and i decided it was time for thfinall plee altamateam sry about spelling so i told him i had had it that if h didnt stop i was leaving him he said f this got up from his chair went out to the garage and came back with the gas can poring it thru the all house picked up hi zippo and tossed it intyo the gas at me feet i wasa in shock at what he just did i sat there in awed by the time my feet were moving and yelling at the room mate toi get out the house was on firer the windows were breaking in the housethe rest is a blur that night all there of us got out alive he was the only one that got hurt by the fire the last time i saw him untill weeks later he was sitting in the yard crying batteled with my self about what the shoulda woulda coulda i went to the hospital to see how he was doing FOOL I WATCHED THE MAN THAT TOOK ME ON THAT RIDE GO FROM THE MAN LYING IN THAT BED TO THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE SO I STILL STOOD THERE BESIDE HIM ONE YR LATER ALMOST TO THEY DAY HE WAS COVICTED OF FENALEY ARROSON PUT MONEY ON HIS BOOKS SO HE WOULDNT DO WITHOUT ABOUT NINE MTHS LATER THE PRERSON SENT ME HIS THINGS AND A BOX OF ASHES THAT WAS IN JUNE OF 2013 SO HERE I SIT A BOX OF ASHES UNDER MY DESK CRYING WRITING THIS SO THANK YOU FOR READING THIS IS WHO I AM NOW I HAVE NO MORE SHAME I AM NOT A SAINT BUT A FORMER SHADOW OF THE MAN I ONCE WAS I DO NOT WANT PITY THIS IS AN APOLYGE TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS LU W
Posted on: Fri, 20 Sep 2013 04:47:11 +0000
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