#THIS IS FOR THE MEN(married or not)# Michael sat across the table from me and I could see tears in his eyes. I wondered what I would do if he began crying openly. I knew for sure that I could not hold his hand, wipe his tears or even pat his back. All those were unmanly things to do in public for another man. Michael managed to get a hold of himself and finish his story. He was in a serious relationship fight with his wife and in the morning she had told him to find a man who could teach him how to be a husband because according to her, he was not even a man. Very hurtful words for a woman to say to her husband but I do not want to dwell on that. This man sitting across the table from me was hurting and searching and he had called me looking for answers. He wanted to have a great marriage, he wanted to learn to be a husband and a man. Why he picked on me, I will never be able to understand because I have my own struggles and challenges but I had to help, that is what men do, we step in and help when help is needed. As our conversation and meetings unfolded over a period of several weeks, I learned some very key lessons on what it means to be a man and a husband. I did not teach Michael, we walked together, studied together and learned together. Allow me to pick and share with you four key lessons from Michael’s journey of becoming a man worthy of being called a husband. I will call them the 4P’s or four pillars of becoming a man worthy of being a husband. These are: 1. Proud Provider – A real man provides for his wife and he does it proudly. It does not matter whether the wife has a better job or earns more. A man needs to do all he can to ensure he provides. When the money comes from the wife because she has a better job, the man has to ensure that he deals with the landlord, pays the bills and his wife does not need to worry about having the bases covered. A man is meant to be a warrior who goes out to fight for his family, hunt for his family, conquer and bring in the bacon, ensure bills are paid, the rent or mortgage is covered and his wife is well. “But if any man does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. ” 1 Timothy 5:8 Michael’s problem originated from the fact that he did not pay the electricity bill, did not bother to look for a house when they needed to move and had not even met the landlord. Even when salaries were late and they could not pay for the house rent on time, it was his wife who had to go and try to get the landlord to give them an extension to the deadline. A real man proudly provides for his family and deals with any eventualities that arise. Are you a man? Stand up to be counted, take care of your stuff and let you wife know that you have it covered and she can rest knowing you are on it. 2. Persistent Protector – A husband, any man that carries that title needs to persistently protect his wife. He needs to stand and protect her whether it is defending her from his relatives that treat her as a foreigner in his family, from the construction crew who embarrass her with their whistling or the Matatu tout who attempts to abuse her on her way to work. No man, no woman has the slightest right to put my wife down. They will have to deal with me and that is just how it is. A husband should open the door at night to see who is knocking, wake up in the middle of the night to check where the noise is coming from and pretty much ensure his wife and family are safe. Michael wasn’t living like the warrior he was meant to be. On a number of occassions, he had allowed his sisters to abuse his wife and one of his friends had called his wife a spender of Michael’s money. Unknown to them, his wife actually earned more than him and had even bought him his car through her employer’s car loan scheme. It is very wrong for a man to just keep quiet instead of protecting his wife. 3. Prudent Planner – A husband is meant to be a leader who leads his family faithfully and consistently in every area of life. Any man worthy to be called a husband does not shy away from the role of leadership. He is a prudent man who thinks about the days ahead and plans the path the family will take in order to get where he and his wife need to go. He carefully considers the wife’s views, wisdom and consults with her and together they move forward. A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, But the simple pass on and are punished. Proverbs 22:3 A prudent planner does not fear listen to his wife’s advice, does not try to prop himself up as the boss but looks ahead to ensure the family is moving forward, looks around to ensure there is no danger coming, looks at his wife to assure her and communicate with her and looks up to God for direction, wisdom and help. 4. Passionate Pursuer – A husband is a man who loved a woman and pursued her in love till he married her. Problem is, many husbands stop pursuing their wives passionately after they get married. A man ought to pursuer with passion the woman he is married to. He ought to forsake all others and passionately pursue his wife. Give her that warm hug, look forward to meeting her for that passionate kiss and romantically treat her like a queen because she is. A husband should passionately pursuer his wife with his words, he should speak romantically, he should speak with love and intimacy, he should write poems, love emails and even compose songs for his bride. A husband should pursuer his wife with romantic actions. Open doors if that speaks love to your wife, buy flowers, cook dinner, clean the house or whatever else that will communicate love to your wife. “You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices.” Songs of Solomon 4:9-10 Michael had not touched his wife even for a kiss or hug for over a month and he knew something had to change. He had to step up as a man and be a husband passionately pursuing his wife with love. There is my list of 4 P’s. What do you think of them? Are you a husband and have your own list of focus points? Credit---EDWARD MUNENE
Posted on: Wed, 05 Mar 2014 07:33:58 +0000
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