THIS WEEKS TOPIC FOR THEOLOGY ON TAP Advice to Woman With Unresolved Guilt Falls Short, Both Psychologically and Biblically In the News A couple of weeks ago, a woman wrote to advice columnist Emily Yoffe, who writes the Dear Prudence column for Slate. The woman, who is a grandmother, explained that one day when she was a young girl, she accidentally bruised herself at school by doing something clumsy. When she came home, her mother noticed and asked what happened. The woman said that her mother was always making me feel stupid, so instead of telling what really happened, she said that her teacher pinched her. I was hoping for a little poor baby from her and then the whole thing would blow over, the woman wrote. That didnt happen. Her mother became enraged, went to the school and accused the teacher. An investigation ensued, and the girl was too scared to back down. The teacher was either fired or quit to avoid criminal charges. I felt terrible, especially when she asked me, in tears, why I was telling that lie, the woman wrote. It has always bothered me since. The woman added that the event is so far in the past that I cant see what I can do to make restitution to the teacher. Surely she is retired by now. Nonetheless, she said, she would like to do something. Her letter was signed Guilty. In her reply, Yoffe said that the fact that the woman continued to be haunted by this incident showed she was a decent person. Yoffe advised Guilty that since there was little likelihood that she could find the teacher, she shouldnt try to do so. Besides, Yoffe said, the teacher was probably able to continue her career elsewhere, and it could be hoped that she had put the incident behind her. Yoffe suggested that Guilty donate some money to a group such as the Innocence Project, which works to exonerate the wrongfully convicted. The columnist concluded, Now its time to recognize [that] the person who did it was a hurting little girl, and forgive her. The Wired Word team doesnt think Yoffes reply went far enough. One team member, Malia Miller, who was a high-school-level guidance counselor for many years and now teaches others who are in school to be counselors, said, The suggestion from the advice columnist is a great plan B, but to really achieve the closure this woman is longing for, she should make an effort to find the teacher and seek forgiveness. What a gift for the teacher to be exonerated -- even at such a late date -- as well as redemption for the grandmother. Even if she is unsuccessful in finding her former teacher, the effort made can be very therapeutic to her emotional healing. That is the clinical view from my standpoint, but I believe it mimics the Christian journey of repentance and forgiveness taught in the scriptures.
Posted on: Tue, 03 Jun 2014 21:24:08 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015