TIPS ON HOW TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND (PART 2) 3. Consult her. Seek - TopicsExpress

TIPS ON HOW TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND (PART 2) 3. Consult her. Seek your partner’s ideas, philosophies, values, tastes, and beliefs. A question from your job like, “What do you think about taking a short position on First Bank futures in light of the current fiscal crisis?” might mean as little to her as her question to you from her job, “Do you think that intertextuality and patch writing represent operable concepts in modern discourse or are they covert attempts to legitimate plagiarism?” Each of you might look at the other and say, “I have no idea what you just said.” But your wife will nevertheless appreciate the fact that you asked her. When it comes to spending money, many married people have an agreement that they will not spend more than a certain amount without asking their spouse first. Unless you keep your finances separate, spending money has an impact on the community economy. To drop a wad on something without asking the other financial partner is just plain rude. Learn the difference between talking with her and talking at her. When you ask for her input, remember that conclusions are supposed to follow discussions and not precede them. 4. Don’t be a tyrant. Even men who think they are feminists and who advocate egalitarian marriages can be bossy, demanding, and controlling. Don’t do it. You can be the head of the house, and your wife might have promised to love, honor, and obey, but that doesn’t mean you should tell her when to take every breath. In the workplace, in friendship, and in marriage, happiness and thriving and engagement come to a very large extent from autonomy. If you have ever had a micromanaging boss or a “let’s do what I want” friend, you’ll know how it feels to lack autonomy. (Watch out for Part 3)