( TL;DR: Glob of thoughts ) That moment when anything and everything just gets on your nerves... Where you dont have the will to even move your body. You just dont have the mental tenacity to make a decision. Where you just want to fade away or feel like you are. Those moments, when nothing entertains you or catches your eye. You just start to feel like a husk, slowly becoming more and more empty. You make the slightest movement and observe your own hand Even though its right there in front of you, it doesnt even seem real Yet, you reach out and touch something and are reminded of the reality of this feeling. You cant even feel happy or earnest about working toward a goal of yours that should be ultimately satisfying. This doesnt feel like depression, no... This feels much more dark, much more... unrestricted. Alas, we still wander. Still, we sway. Nitpicking inside our own minds, we search for this answer, only to be disappointed at the fact that we truly do not know. We dont know... What is it we dont know? Perhaps, we actually know so much, that what we seek becomes just a figment of our imagination, only to be dreamed about and searched for - without every really realizing that, deep down, we already know the answer. Though these answers are already inside us, it isnt even denial that keeps these answers hidden, yet, most of the time that is how the case may be. Its as if we were conditioned to forget about something before it was even brought to light. To be conditioned in such a way... just doesnt seem right; it doesnt seem... human. Alienated by these thoughts of ours, we seek council or guidance, only to be further disappointed by those fearing the worst - that your intelligence far surpasses anything to date. They dont want to feel inferior, meanwhile, you dont even visualize them as such; they just label themselves so, causing themselves and others far greater harm. Searching and searching... we become more and more looked down upon. Viewing the world so differently, we are betrayed by our own kind - Insulted, beaten, infuriated, sorrowful, apathetic, and humiliated as we are; we still rise up, again and again. Some will rise, some will fall, some will downright disappear forever. These cycles, we can do nothing about and so, we must live with them instead of fearing them. Mourn, but not grieve. Live on, for you are still here. The immense desire to be wanted and the even greater desire to feel accomplished, consistently run rampant within everyone. The lengths we go are what divide us as individuals. Even twins have conflicting thoughts and desires; this is what makes them the individual that they have already become. I might have personally given up, but I couldnt ever back down. Even if I look like a fool, I will be there. Even if no one cares about me, I will care about them. Even if... Even so... WE will be One. We SHOULD be One. Unfortunately... WE are not One, nor will the mindset most have allow such grace to be had. A grace we should have, yet so frugally throw away, as if it were nothing. I am not nothing; WE are not nothing. -End Transmission
Posted on: Mon, 21 Oct 2013 03:57:36 +0000
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