TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - BETTER RECOGNIZE As you listen to me this morning I’m persuaded you are not in any way looking forward to a life of deprivation, displeasure, poverty and insufficiency. As you go about your daily life; working and doing all you need to, I believe you have an expectation that your venture would deliver profitable rewards. You may have in time past, gone through very difficult and trying times; you may have experienced, lack, deprivation, injustice, rejection, betrayal, sickness, loneliness and all kinds of negativity that has brought you much pain and distress hence, the desperation to do all you can to sustain a life of peace, pleasure and prosperity; you don’t want a repeat or reoccurrence of the negatives. We are like that as mankind; we all want to be loved, accepted, secure and comfortable and many of us believe our best help is us; we believe also our first help is us so we continually do things, reach out to people, take on jobs and try out different things we think would deliver to us everything we want and need because we definitely want a happy life. We have expectations concerning our individual lives, our families, our careers, our finances, our social lives and our relevance in the society and our world. We work towards these expectations with the persuasion it would work out just right and on time too. When we go through frustrations and oppositions, atimes we get desperate and begin to consider options and ways to overcome these oppositions. Of course no one has it all and no one knows it all. Your support and help is not all contained in you, many people out there have what you need to get you to your next level and support you on your next project. However, when we become overwhelmed and worn out we become desperate in seeking help from others and begin to look for how we can use or take advantage of others. When we want something and we feel we can’t reach it, our immediate desperate act is to look for who can make it happen or who’s got that thing we want and then we go after them with all forms of wiles, tactics and pretense. There is nothing wrong with needing help and asking for it, what is really not right is the decision to use inappropriate means to secure this help. It is not decent to want something from someone without reckoning with that person probably because you don’t like this person or you think the person is beneath you or you even think this someone doesn’t like you. At times the people we need help from may have very nasty character; they may be boastful, insolent and condescending, the fact they are not so good does not legitimize our cunning and wiles in using them and dumping them. These methods have their ways of boomeranging too. Moving forward, getting ahead and succeeding through life must as much as possible be carried out decently and with a good conscience, that is how to really be at peace with ones self and enjoy indeed the reward for the labour. Another’s bad habit or character should not justify your own bad behavior. The fact that you have to deal with a not-so-good person does not mean you should transform into a bad person too, to deal with such a one. You must have the capacity to achieve your dreams and accomplish your purpose through others without necessarily taking on their forms. You really don’t need to join them to beat them, all you need do is to lead you to change them, you don’t change people by words alone; you change people by example, performance and proof. I have in time past gone through different experiences with different people whom I needed to help me, support me or carry me through tough and difficult situations. Some of them were really nice, caring, considerate and sincere. Some were arrogant, boastful and assumed I’ll forever have to look up to them. Some were outright nasty and made it plain I had to give something to get what I needed. Some demanded for my time, my service, my loyalty and availability to get anything from them. Now, if you truly want to progress in life and your future is important you will pay a price; some asked for too much for so little and some asked for almost nothing to give so much. You must at each point weigh the price demanded against the need, to make up your mind if it’s worth it or not. Some will at the initial stage act as though the favour is free then afterward expect you pay them for this favour for the rest of your life. Because mankind basically exists interdependently, many have taken on desperate measures in securing their dreams, expectations and security through the art of using others, in reaction, most people today interpret asking for assistance or help as a ploy to use them; this has now sadly degenerated to us living in a world of pure transactions; no assistance. You ask a man for help and the next thing he’ll begin to think is how you can be useful to him. He begins to look at you and your abilities and starts to negotiate with you. He would begin to propose to you ways and means to earn his help. He would expect, you compromise your own dreams and life pursuit, serve his own dreams and purposes before you can benefit anything from him. Your parents raised you all right and today you’re doing just well and before you know what’s happening they begin to place very high demands on you; they visit you unannounced, they in fact claim ownership of your person, they send relatives and friends to you for assistance without informing you, they make promises and commitments on your behalf, they expect you to prioritize them and their needs over yours and your spouses’, they want to rule your home, control your life and dictate your destiny. Any resistance you put up will make them start recounting how much they did for you, sacrificed for you and gave up for you. They emotionally blackmail you and if you do not yield they begin to threaten you, if you still will not give in they now begin to invite people they believe can influence you and sell their selfish story so well you look like a bad ungrateful child. They keep pushing and pressuring until you compromise and yield; this they expect to continue for as long as they can manipulate you. There are some also, knowing you have worked hard and attained a certain level of maybe financial breakthrough; decide to transfer their personal responsibilities to you. They expect you to foot all their bills; when they need to pay rent, they come to you, when they need to pay school fees they come to you, when they need to settle any bill they come to you, they want your shirts, your tops, your blouses, your shoes, your wrist watch they expect you give them everything; they believe because you have, you should be able to carry all their responsibilities too. Once you decide not to succumb anymore to their pitiful stories and pathetic experiences they reveal their true colours and you’d discover they never really loved you in the first place. Dear friend what is your understanding of all your friendships and relationships? Do you understand your friends and associates? Do you really understand their motives? What is the real interest of those close to you? Do they really love you or like the idea of what you are to them? Do they see you for whom you are; appreciating your person, recognizing your weaknesses and struggles and empathizing in your low moments? Is it just about themselves and what they can obtain and gain from you? What is the definition of their interest in you? Do your employees care about you the business or themselves? Do your employers care about you, your interest or it’s just about you being useful and dutiful? The gain and get without giving mentality would at last leave you miserable and lonely. Bulldozing your way through your journey in life and leaving relationship destruction and damage along your path is not a good way to travel. The best way to journey is to connect with not just the means but the needs of other travelers. It’s fulfilling; very satisfying. Dear friend, better recognize. Enjoy your day. TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - BETTER RECOGNIZE As you listen to me this morning I’m persuaded you are not in any way looking forward to a life of deprivation, displeasure, poverty and insufficiency. As you go about your daily life; working and doing all you need to, I believe you have an expectation that your venture would deliver profitable rewards. You may have in time past, gone through very difficult and trying times; you may have experienced, lack, deprivation, injustice, rejection, betrayal, sickness, loneliness and all kinds of negativity that has brought you much pain and distress hence, the desperation to do all you can to sustain a life of peace, pleasure and prosperity; you don’t want a repeat or reoccurrence of the negatives. We are like that as mankind; we all want to be loved, accepted, secure and comfortable and many of us believe our best help is us; we believe also our first help is us so we continually do things, reach out to people, take on jobs and try out different things we think would deliver to us everything we want and need because we definitely want a happy life. We have expectations concerning our individual lives, our families, our careers, our finances, our social lives and our relevance in the society and our world. We work towards these expectations with the persuasion it would work out just right and on time too. When we go through frustrations and oppositions, atimes we get desperate and begin to consider options and ways to overcome these oppositions. Of course no one has it all and no one knows it all. Your support and help is not all contained in you, many people out there have what you need to get you to your next level and support you on your next project. However, when we become overwhelmed and worn out we become desperate in seeking help from others and begin to look for how we can use or take advantage of others. When we want something and we feel we can’t reach it, our immediate desperate act is to look for who can make it happen or who’s got that thing we want and then we go after them with all forms of wiles, tactics and pretense. There is nothing wrong with needing help and asking for it, what is really not right is the decision to use inappropriate means to secure this help. It is not decent to want something from someone without reckoning with that person probably because you don’t like this person or you think the person is beneath you or you even think this someone doesn’t like you. At times the people we need help from may have very nasty character; they may be boastful, insolent and condescending, the fact they are not so good does not legitimize our cunning and wiles in using them and dumping them. These methods have their ways of boomeranging too. Moving forward, getting ahead and succeeding through life must as much as possible be carried out decently and with a good conscience, that is how to really be at peace with ones self and enjoy indeed the reward for the labour. Another’s bad habit or character should not justify your own bad behavior. The fact that you have to deal with a not-so-good person does not mean you should transform into a bad person too, to deal with such a one. You must have the capacity to achieve your dreams and accomplish your purpose through others without necessarily taking on their forms. You really don’t need to join them to beat them, all you need do is to lead you to change them, you don’t change people by words alone; you change people by example, performance and proof. I have in time past gone through different experiences with different people whom I needed to help me, support me or carry me through tough and difficult situations. Some of them were really nice, caring, considerate and sincere. Some were arrogant, boastful and assumed I’ll forever have to look up to them. Some were outright nasty and made it plain I had to give something to get what I needed. Some demanded for my time, my service, my loyalty and availability to get anything from them. Now, if you truly want to progress in life and your future is important you will pay a price; some asked for too much for so little and some asked for almost nothing to give so much. You must at each point weigh the price demanded against the need, to make up your mind if it’s worth it or not. Some will at the initial stage act as though the favour is free then afterward expect you pay them for this favour for the rest of your life. Because mankind basically exists interdependently, many have taken on desperate measures in securing their dreams, expectations and security through the art of using others, in reaction, most people today interpret asking for assistance or help as a ploy to use them; this has now sadly degenerated to us living in a world of pure transactions; no assistance. You ask a man for help and the next thing he’ll begin to think is how you can be useful to him. He begins to look at you and your abilities and starts to negotiate with you. He would begin to propose to you ways and means to earn his help. He would expect, you compromise your own dreams and life pursuit, serve his own dreams and purposes before you can benefit anything from him. Your parents raised you all right and today you’re doing just well and before you know what’s happening they begin to place very high demands on you; they visit you unannounced, they in fact claim ownership of your person, they send relatives and friends to you for assistance without informing you, they make promises and commitments on your behalf, they expect you to prioritize them and their needs over yours and your spouses’, they want to rule your home, control your life and dictate your destiny. Any resistance you put up will make them start recounting how much they did for you, sacrificed for you and gave up for you. They emotionally blackmail you and if you do not yield they begin to threaten you, if you still will not give in they now begin to invite people they believe can influence you and sell their selfish story so well you look like a bad ungrateful child. They keep pushing and pressuring until you compromise and yield; this they expect to continue for as long as they can manipulate you. There are some also, knowing you have worked hard and attained a certain level of maybe financial breakthrough; decide to transfer their personal responsibilities to you. They expect you to foot all their bills; when they need to pay rent, they come to you, when they need to pay school fees they come to you, when they need to settle any bill they come to you, they want your shirts, your tops, your blouses, your shoes, your wrist watch they expect you give them everything; they believe because you have, you should be able to carry all their responsibilities too. Once you decide not to succumb anymore to their pitiful stories and pathetic experiences they reveal their true colours and you’d discover they never really loved you in the first place. Dear friend what is your understanding of all your friendships and relationships? Do you understand your friends and associates? Do you really understand their motives? What is the real interest of those close to you? Do they really love you or like the idea of what you are to them? Do they see you for whom you are; appreciating your person, recognizing your weaknesses and struggles and empathizing in your low moments? Is it just about themselves and what they can obtain and gain from you? What is the definition of their interest in you? Do your employees care about you the business or themselves? Do your employers care about you, your interest or it’s just about you being useful and dutiful? The gain and get without giving mentality would at last leave you miserable and lonely. Bulldozing your way through your journey in life and leaving relationship destruction and damage along your path is not a good way to travel. The best way to journey is to connect with not just the means but the needs of other travelers. It’s fulfilling; very satisfying. Dear friend, better recognize. Enjoy your day.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 10:27:11 +0000
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