TOP 10 WORST SUPERHERO MOVIES -- Who doesnt like a good superhero movie? I do, but that defeats the purpose of this list. In honor of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Im going to ramble on about BAD superheroes. Im counting down the worst of the worst, folks. This is the Top 10 Worst Superhero Movies! - 10. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance Have you ever seen Nicolas Cage perform over the top acting? Well, in Ghost Rider, he doesnt do that. In Spirit of Vengeance, he lowers that bar further downward than it already was. Now, keep in mind, Cage is not a bad actor. He can out perform anybody he wants. In The Rock, he managed to outact the legendary Sean Connery and Ed Harris. In Con Air, he outacted John Cusack AND John Malkovich. However, in Spirit of Vengeance, his motorcycle performed better than him. Also, the CG sucked. In the first film, when GR appeared, he looked AWESOME. In this, uh, it makes Chuck E. Cheese animatronics look real. Thats bad. The script sucked, the CG sucked, and Nicolas Cage sucked. Might as well call this film a vacuum, cause it sucks so much. - 9. Supergirl Now I know what youre thinking: Whats Supergirl? Ive never heard of that movie before. Well, youre not alone. Im in the same boat with you. Yeah, Ive NEVER watched this movie until I found it on YouTube this morning. And boy, does it suck. The special effects are what you would expect from 1984: bad. .....wait. Didnt Ghostbusters come out that year? The special effects in that were so good, this movie has no excuse for having bad special effects! Maybe they were on a tight budget. What was the budget anyhow? Budget: $35 million No, that cant be why. Maybe they had famous people who expected a lot of money from them. Starring: Faye Dunaway and Peter OToole No, no one I instantly recognize. I dont know, maybe they were just stupid. DING! DING! DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!! So Supergirl was laughably bad, brain-numbingly tedious, and aggravatingly stupid. Theres superheroine movies, then theres Supergirl. They better not mess up with a Wonder Woman movie. Thatd be stupid. - 8. Underdog Ever heard the saying a dog is a mans best friend? Well, Underdog is NO ONES best friend. The actors dont really seem like the right people to play the characters. I mean, really. Jason Lee as Underdog? Why him? I always pictured him as a bad guy, only because he was Syndrome in The Incredibles. So, aside from Earl Hickey as the Caped Canine, the other actors were ok, except for Jim Bore-lushi, whose performance was so wooden, you could mistake him for a log. So, on the contrary, movie. There IS need to fear because Underdog is here. Hes the reason why I fear. - 7. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace Im not the biggest Superman fan. Then again, I dont HATE Superman. The first Superman was good and Superman II was ok. Superman III was far from good, but Richard Pryor almost saved it. BUT. None of them compare to the cinematic death of Christopher Reeves Superman, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, complete with bad acting, horrible effects, and stupid plot. BUT....the MAIN problem with it is that it is BORING. I fully blame Chris Reeve for that, who, not only starred in the film, but co-wrote it. What a dumb idea. Real quick. Think of the most boring thing you know. Then add a five hour lecture from your college professor, being stranded on a deserted island, and James Camerons Avatar. Then multiply that by, say, one thousand. That would be the equivalent to a trip to Disney Land compared to this movie. That boring. Next problem is the acting, mostly from Jon Cryer, the boring guy from Two and A Half Men (boring guy in boring movie=match made in Heaven). Good news: hes not boring. Bad news: he is agonizingly ANNOYING. The Annoying Orange begs for him to shut up. That bad, guys. That bad. This movie flopped everywhere, but it managed to get put on DVD. Which begs the question: If no one watched it in theaters, what makes you think theyre gonna buy it on DVD?? A question I doubt will ever be answered. But this movie isnt the biggest flop Ive ever seen for a superhero movie. - No, we have Green Lantern for that. 6. Green Lantern Green Lantern runs by the same formula as every other superhero movie of the 21st century: Step 1: Get a hunky celebrity who knows little to nothing about the character hes playing. In this case, Ryan Reynolds Step 2: Waste a buttload of money on actors paychecks and CGI. In this case, $200 million Step 3: Pray for the best. All these steps apply to the Green Lantern movie because: A. Ryan Reynolds knew nothing about Green Lantern, B. The creators blew $200 million on nothing but CGI, and C. They didnt pray hard enough. The actors could act their ways out of paper bags, the script is stupid and the CGI is over-used. I only felt sympathy for one guy and that is the late Michael Clarke Duncan, in one of his final performances before his death in late 2012. Or, at least, I THINK its Michael Clarke Duncan. The CGI camouflaged him so much, that his voice sounds different. Without the credits today, Id still be thinking Kilowog was voiced by Barry White!!! So, yeah. Moving on - Now before I continue on, let me make something clear. Like I stated before, Im not the biggest Superman fan. So, this next one will get many folks angry. But, Im prepared for the worst. Ive got my bulletproof vest on, Im in my Plexiglass box, and Ive got the Armed Forces surrounding my house. Ok. Here I go. 5. Man of Steel ....I just felt a bullet graze my left ear. Sorry if anyone doesnt agree with this, but, to me, its not anything new. It failed because of the same reason The Quest for Peace failed: its boring. But Man of Steel is higher because it has Kevin Costner, the King of Blandness. He sounds sleepy in every scene hes in. Another reason is that the fight scenes are too long. Pile on the boredom, why dont you? Well, they did. Way too many boring fights from Superman and General Zod. All painfully boring. Wonderful. I argue all the time with people at school telling them why Man of Steel was bad. They dont listen. Ever. But, hopefully youll listen. Avoid this movie at all costs. Itll pay off. - 4. Batman and Robin Why? Really, why? George Clooney. Why George Clooney? Granted hes better than Ben Affleck will ever be but why him? I know Val Kilmer didnt want to do a sequel but was Clooney REALLY their first choice?? Ok, this is what happens when you make Batman family-friendly: lame one-liners from the AHNOLD, and horrible attempts to make people laugh. But seriously, GEORGE CLOONEY??? WHY????? IS HE REALLY YOUR BEST CHOICE???? Ok, I need to calm down. I cant risk a breakdown about CLOONEY?!?!? HECK, A FRICKIN TREE WOULD BE BETTER THAN HIM!!!!! (Tylenol....need.......Tylenol.) MOVING ON!! - 3. Catwoman Remember what I said about Supergirl earlier? Theres superheroine movies, then theres Supergirl. It should go like this: Theres superheroine movies, then theres Supergirl, then waaaaaaay in the back theres Catwoman. Halle Berry stars in this movie as an supposed-to-be anti-heroine who is now a heroine named Patience Philips. What makes sense is Halle Berrys acting. She gives off the effect that she is a legitimate catwoman. What DOESNT make sense is the script, the plot, the costumes, and the new character, Patience. Selina Kyle? Whos that??? This movie is bad. Its not laughably bad like Supergirl. Its facepalmingly bad. To copy what Wikipedia said: The film is loosely based on the DC Comics character of the same name, who is traditionally an anti-heroine and love interest of the superhero Batman. If by loosely, you mean not at all, then yes. VERY loosely. - 2. Zoom Heres a case of bad-superhero-movie-itis: a comedian stars in a superhero movie. Tim Allen should just stick to home improvement and going to infinity and beyond, not being in a superhero movie. The problem with this movie is the plot. Tell me if this sounds familiar. A group of unwanted mutants get trained by an old guy. Does X-Men sound like something? The answer: OF FREAKING COURSE IT DOES!! This movie actually was suppose to be released BEFORE X-Men: The Last Stand was, but was moved back due to being sued by Marvel and they didnt want to confuse the audience. Trust me, the audience is smarter than that. Zoom is dumb, annoying, and stupid. If I were to make a ripoff of X-Men, Id, at least, cast the right people. I mean, the original cast. Nothing beats that. NOBODY. - So, before I get to the number one, heres some DIShonorable mentions. - Daredevil The guy who directed this also directed Ghost Rider, so you know why its bad. The only forgivable people in this is Ben Affleck as Matt Murdock/Daredevil and once again Michael Clarke Duncan as Wilson Fisk/Kingpin. But, if he were white, hed probably be played by King Kong Bundy (any wrestling fans in this group get this??) Hancock This is probably the reason why Will Smith is only doing one movie a year. Horrible acting, overused plot, and ok special effects. Watch out for it. X-Men Origins: Wolverine Excellent job, Marvel. You managed to make Deadpool look lame in his FIRST movie appearance. But if he were to be in it more, he would end up breaking the fourth wall. Many times. The Green Hornet Again, never allow a comedian to star as the superhero. Seth Rogen, why did you make that mistake? Superhero Movie Obviously named, incredibly stupid. A stupid Scary Movie style parody which makes me dislike Drake Bell more than I already do. Ghost Rider Ah, Ghost Rider: the OG horrible superhero movie. This was going to be number ten till I saw Spirit of Vengeance a few weeks ago. Bless Sam Elliots soul for being put in this. Bless his rugged, mumbling soul. Howard the Duck Just no. - I had a little trouble deciding number one, but to me, this ones a no-brainer. Its bad. Its ultimately bad. So here is number one: 1. Elektra As you can tell, I dont like superheroine movies. Elektra is no exception. Really? Did Daredevil need a spinoff? You know you have too much time on your hands when you make a spinoff for DAREDEVIL. So Jennifer Garner returns as Elektra Natchios, but Im not feeling it. Its not the same, she needs an affiliate. She needs Daredevil. Oh, wait. That would make it Daredevil 2, therefore making this movie better. Whoop-dee-doo. Heres the deal: the script is crap, the actors cant act, the action is lame, and the movie is overall stupid. Seriously, Daredevil? Thats worse than CLOONEY????!!!!???!!!! WHAT THE HECK WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?!?!? REALLY, GEORGE CLOON-(slap)........ And that is all for the Top 10 Worst Superhero Movies. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Thats all for me. I have to go put myself in a mental institution. See ya later!
Posted on: Sun, 06 Apr 2014 03:48:58 +0000
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