TYPICAL PUERTO RICAN MEDICAL DISORDERS (still being studied by the American Medical Association) Monga Misterious body temperature, not high enough to be consider fever, but serious enough to miss school and work. Illness is unknown by the American Medical Association (AMA) and only understood by doctors of Puerto Rican origin. Patatú Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any time. Could be serious enough to require hospitalization, yet is undetected by med ical technology. Victims tend to be males and females over the age of 50 years. Sereno Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night and is sprinkled by a misterious substance produced by the night air. There are no physical symptoms and it can only be detected by the Puerto Rican elderly. The effect of having this disease is unknown. Children must not be taken out at night without proper head gear or risk of contamination is certain. Empache Digestive disorder which occurs after the consumption of a large Puerto Rican meal. The only known cure for the disease is una buena CAGADA (defecate) or tirarse un buen PEO (fart). (Alka-Seltzer is completely ineffective). Cuerpo Cortao Frequent and mild condition of unknown etymology. Symptoms include-- but are not limited to-- fatigue, lack of energy and chronic whining. Moño Parao Psychological imbalance of short duration that causes strange mood swings, violent irritating behavior as well as general unpleasantness. Cocotazo Also referred to as the Fuácata. A clenched hand/closed cripple! Caused by left or right fingers flexed to not quite make a fist with middle finger slightly raised higher than the rest and delivered to a childs head with a quick snap to the wrist (my fathers favorite). Chichón Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the fall after a patatú. Can also be caused by the sudden or unexpected encounter with a cocotazo. Mal de Orín (Diagnosed by grandmas of those who are over 40) Feeling of discomfort and urgency to urinate after a child has been sitting on a hot surface (like a rock or concrete) for a long period of time. Dolor de Hijá Severe pain endured by Puerto Rican women caused by Doña Juana, who visits them for every month for a few days. Mal de Amores & nbsp; Feelings of extreme happiness and incessant talking about a new sweetheart. Enchulamiento Possible mental condition that doesnt allow Puerto Ricans to think straight when they are too enamoraos (head over heels). Churras de Abanico Extreme, acid diarrhea that leaves the exhaust pipe on fire. Ventosedá Term used by old time puertorrican grandmas to describe pain and discomfort caused by flatulence, so bad that gases couldn t come out. This could only be cured by the sobadora (some neighbor who specialized in rubbing the belly with oil while reciting prayers to the saints.) These ladies also helped with empachos.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Jul 2014 22:05:39 +0000
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