Team Awesome Movie Night Theme: Things We Have Recorded from Sky That Are Likely To Be Awful... Or, were not drunk enough for this. What Oblivion and Hammer of the Gods have taught us: 1) Drone 166 is a bit of an asshole 2) The only books left in post apocalyptic libraries are classics with deeply profound passages, unlike modern libraries which have nothing but suspiciously stained copies of Catherine Cookson books and even more suspiciously stained copies of 50 Shades of Grey 3) Skinny dipping in the upper atmosphere leads to frostbite on your stratocumulus 4) Tom Cruise takes his t-shirt off like a man but throws like a girl 5) Tom Cruise sucks at taking orders which is why he will never work in McDonalds again 6) Sand person chic is the fashion of choice for all versions of post apocalyptic earth. Except Waterworld but its best we dont talk about that. 7) A bullet fired in a random direction in the middle of a desolate wasteland will always hit the single innocent person who just happens to be standing off to the side. Its a tradition or an old charter or something. 8) The set designer for Oblivion raided the Enterprise for parts. Put those cupboard doors back, Picard knows youve got them and hes very upset with you. 9) Reason is a cover-up for weakness 10) When riding horses across the top of a hill, ancient laws state that you must always ride in single file. 11) Never release a prisoner unless youve checked theyre not a serial killer first 12) If you have the gods on your side you cant lose. Or if you cheat, same thing really 13) Its difficult to have an important and detailed conversation when youre smacked up to your eyeballs on ancient magic mushrooms 14) Handing a woman a flute and telling her to blow it is not a good chat up line. The same applies to giving her a guitar and telling her to strum it, beating a drum or wobbling a wobble board. Maybe just stay away from the whole musical instrument chat up lines. 15) Up a tree is not the natural nesting place for a severed horses head. Do horses heads nest?? Im sure I read somewhere that they do. Maybe on cliffs? 16) Nothing good ever starts with a burning cross 17) If you have a pit in your palace that doesnt contain a rancor then youre doing it wrong 18) If youre king you can be a genocidal, canabalistic arsenugget with a god complex and nobody will care too much but start having it off with your own mother and youve gone too far.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Mar 2014 00:50:34 +0000