Telling the truth has had serious consequences in my life. Im not afraid to talk about the elephant in the middle of the living room and for reason I have been shunned, slandered, rejected and scapegoated in my life. I guess I have a truth problem. I just read an article about scapegoating that said the best way to overcome being one is to stop telling the truth. To co-exist with hypocrisy. No thank you. Im not going to turn my back on something I believe in to the point of a willingness to die for it so I can be accepted by people I dont have any respect for. To be an enabler for lies. The truth is I am virtually not capable of it. I have a built in polygraph and I can literally feel when someone is lying to me. Ive come to a place where I have made peace with the parts of me that arent great at all and I can be honest about it because of the parts of me that are. We are not a perfect race, clearly.....look at the world. Pretending to be so and needing others to think so at any cost robs us of two of the greatest experiences of being human. Humility and authenticity. Getting into all that imperfect shit of ourselves and healing it so we can be better people. I wish so much that I didnt know when people were lying, sometimes ignorance is bliss. The easiest way to break a connection with me is to lie to me. It not only hurts me deeply, but it completely pisses me off to the point of truth that no one wants to hear. There is nothing that gets me on a more visceral level than when my honesty is questioned (especially by people I care about) because someone is too much of a chicken shit to be real and resorts to lying to save their own skin. I dont see this changing about me. I have had to sever ties with people I love more than life itself because they lie. I think this world needs a lot less lying and a lot more truth telling. I have no intention on changing this part of myself even that means being very lonely. Lies have robbed me of the most beautiful parts of my life and I will be damned if I will ever get in bed with that vicious and most harmful enemy for popularity points. Been there, done that and the only thing it didnt cost me was my life.
Posted on: Sat, 02 Aug 2014 18:36:41 +0000
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