The Broken Miracle There was a point when my heart was so crushed for my daughter as she realized her daughter would face unimaginable challenges…challenges that she might never overcome. On the darkest of those days I cried out to God…I cried out in anger and fear…. why would He send us a broken miracle? Tyley Sue had been a miracle for my daughter…and now that miracle seemed broken…a used car salesman kind of miracle….what kind of God did stuff like that? I had the audacity to call out to the Holy Creator of the Universe and demand a refund on all those hours of praise and worship. I was mad at Him. I had bought into all the rhetoric about “answered prayers” and “God still performs miracles” and “by His stripes we are healed.” I bought it all. I had faced each challenge with a peace about me…I never worried when the doctors said there was a 99% change Ashley had a tumor on her brain…all the evidence pointed to it…all the tests showed it… I wasn’t worried. I knew God would answer my prayers. And He did. I never worried when the doctors said Ashley couldn’t have children and her heart was broken. I knew beyond all doubt that God would come through. He would answer our prayers. I stood firmly on Luke 18:1-8. I went daily to the Judge and requested my justice. I knew it would come. I had bought into the life of faith, only to discover that all those “answered prayers” were really just a conincidence. God hadn’t answered my prayers because I had prayed….it just so happened that what I had prayed for happened to be what GOD wanted. He didn’t answer my prayers because He loved me and cared about me and wanted me to be happy. He answered those prayers because it was a part of His plan, because it made Him happy. That was a dark, frightening moment. It was in that moment that I questioned everything I had ever believed in. At three and a half years old, I know there will be no miracle of healing for our Sue Sue. As no amputee has ever had his arm or his leg suddenly reappear, so too will Tyley Sue not suddenly have the missing genes appear that will make her “normal.” BUT despite this knowledge, in the past year my faith has been restored. See our broken miracle is NOT Tyley Sue. Each of us has been so completely broken that we have had no choice but to fall helplessly at the throne of God and pour out our whole hearts to Him. Once all hope for a miracle is removed, THAT is when the real miracle happens. The miracle of faith that restores us and allows us to face each new day. The real broken miracle was our brokenness. It has been through our brokenness that God has been able to teach us that He does love us. He loves us even in our darkest moments. He loves us even when we have nothing to offer Him in our weakest, most wretched states. He loved me even as I stood in my living room railing against Him, challenging His authority. He loved me in the same way I love my own broken Tyley Sue…I love her in spite of her flaws…sometimes because of her flaws. Regardless of our condition, God loves us. He really loves us. As I prayed and thought about what to say here, God lay this on my heart : My love for you is complete in the brokenness of my OWN Son. It is through His brokenness that I have shown my love to you. Tyley Sue is not a broken miracle…My Son is the broken miracle. Accept His brokenness as a sign that I love YOU in YOUR brokenness. Trust me with your hurts, and I will heal your broken heart. Tyley Sue is evidence of God’s love for us. Each day she shows us what His love looks like. She is His witness. Her life has a purpose and a meaning much greater than her flawed DNA. I have found a deeper sense of peace in this understanding than I ever would have found in a private miracle of healing. Her life is a public miracle, a miracle of love and hope for all who will see and hear her story. My prayer now is that through this child others will find the truth of the broken miracle in their own lives and will come to understand that God will accept them even broken and wretched. There is no need to wash ones hands and feet, no special garments to prepare, no sacrifices to make, only to recognize that the star breathing God who made the heavens and each of us has prepared a place for us at his table of feasting if only we will accept the broken miracle of Christ, enter the throne room, and take our places beside Him. ~Melody
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:23:29 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015