The Case of Widows QURAN AL FAJR: “Those of you who die leaving wives behind, their wives shall wait, by themselves, for four months and ten days. When they have reached the end of their waiting-term, you shall incur no sin in whatever they may do with themselves in a lawful manner. God is aware of all that you do. You will incur no sin if you give a hint of a marriage offer to [widowed] women or keep such an intention to yourselves. God knows that you will entertain such intentions concerning them. Do not, however, plight your troth in secret; but speak only in a decent manner. Furthermore, do not resolve on actually making the marriage tie before the prescribed term [of waiting] has run its course.Know well that God knows what is in your minds, so have fear of Him; and know that God is much- Forgiving, Forbearing”. (Verses 234-235) THE QURAN ILLUSTRATED ,10TH JULY 2014: “The sūrah then turns to introduce the rules governing widows; their waiting period and whether and when they can entertain new proposals for marriage:“Those of you who die leaving wives behind, their wives shall wait, by themselves, for four months and ten days. When they have reached the end of their waiting-term, you shall incur no sin in whatever they may do with themselves in a lawful manner. God is aware of all that you do. You will incur no sin if you give a hint of a marriage offer to [widowed] women or keep such an intention to yourselves. God knows that you will entertain such intentions concerning them. Do not, however, plight your troth in secret; but speak only in a decent manner. Furthermore, do not resolve on actually making the marriage tie before the prescribed term [of waiting] has run its course.Know well that God knows what is in your minds, so have fear of Him; and know that God is much- Forgiving, Forbearing”. (Verses 234-235) In pre-Islamic Arabia, widows suffered a great deal of injustice at the hands of their own families, their in-laws and society in general. When a husband died, his widow would be confined to a drab part of the home and made to wear her shabbiest clothes and refrain from using any perfume or incense for a whole year. At the end of that period, she would be required to perform a series of degrading and meaningless rituals which included casting animal faeces into the air and riding an ass or a sheep through the town or village. Islam did away with all those worthless customs and alleviated the suffering of widows who, in addition to the grief of losing their husbands, had to endure the humiliation and persecution of their families and were deprived of the opportunity to resume a happy and decent family life. Islam set a waiting period of four months and ten days, which is slightly longer than that for a divorced wife, unless a woman is pregnant, in which case her waiting period extends until she has delivered. The purpose of the waiting period is to determine whether the woman is pregnant and to avoid hurting the feelings of the family of her deceased husband by leaving his home immediately after his death. During this period, the widow wears modest clothes, and does not wear the sort of make-up that encourages suitors to propose marriage to her. Once the waiting period is over, no one, from either her family or that of her deceased husband, has the right to dictate to her what to do with her life. She is totally free to decide for herself within the established traditions and teachings of Islam. She is free to wear all the adornments permitted for Muslim women, to receive marriage proposals, and to give her consent to marrying anyone she chooses, unimpeded by any antiquated or unreasonable traditions or customs. She has only God to please and fear. For: “God is aware of all that you do.” As for men who wish to marry a widow before the end of her waiting period, the sūrah gives a most perceptive ruling, based on the observance of principles of decency and propriety, ethical and social values, and the feelings and sensibilities of all concerned while taking account of the overall needs and interests of the community as a whole: “You will incur no sin if give a hint of a marriage offer to [widowed] women or keep such an intention to yourselves.” (Verse 235) During the waiting period, the memory of the deceased husband is still fresh in his widow’s mind. She may be overwhelmed by the grief she shares with his family,and anxious to find out whether she is carrying his child. If she already knows that she is pregnant, she is bound to be under stress, and would have to wait until she gives birth before she may marry again. All these considerations make any entertainment of a new marriage rather premature, or even inappropriate and hurtful. Nevertheless, this should not prevent prospective suitors from expressing an interest in marrying a widow once her waiting period had elapsed, short of directly and officially proposing to her. Al-Bukhārī relates that Ibn `Abbās, the Prophet’s cousin and learned Companion,is reported to have suggested that statements such as: “I wish to get married,” or, “I need to have a woman around me,” or “I wish I had a good wife,” are appropriate. The sūrah also makes it clear that God is always aware of any unexpressed feelings or intentions by some men in wishing to marry a certain widow. It casts no aspersions on such feelings, which it implicitly recognizes as natural and normal, but urges that no practical steps be taken, or secretive arrangements agreed, before the waiting period is over. Thus, Islam regulates and tames human natural desires rather than condemning or suppressing them. “God knows that you will entertain such intentions concerning them. Do not, however, plight your troth in secret; but speak only in a decent manner.” (Verse 235) Arrangements or agreements of marriage made in secret during the waiting period are seen as contrary to decent social propriety and impertinent towards God,who has designated that period as a positive division in a widow’s life.None of this should prevent a decent contact with the woman, provided the subject of conversation falls within the decent religious and social norms as dictated by Islam. No intention of marriage is expressed directly lest the woman’s feelings are hurt at such a delicate time in her predicament, as pointed out earlier. “Do not, however, plight your troth in secret; but speak only in a decent manner.Furthermore, do not resolve on actually making the marriage tie before the prescribed term [of waiting] has run its course.” (Verse 235) Once again we note the delicate touches with which the Qur’ān approaches sensitive subjects. It does not warn against making marriage contracts before the end of the waiting period; it warns against making a commitment, plighting one’s troth. The choice of words at the end of the verse is significant: “Know well that God knows what is in your minds, so have fear of Him; and know that God is much-Forgiving,Forbearing.” (Verse 235) These closing words refer the whole matter to God’s grace and generosity, appealing directly to Muslims’ respect and fear of God Almighty in conducting their personal and social affairs. This fear and respect are, in themselves,the ultimate guarantee of God’s forgiveness and tolerance towards those who earnestly and sincerely strive to observe and implement His directives and rulings”. (Source: In the Shade of the Quran, vol.1, pp- 314- 315)
Posted on: Wed, 09 Jul 2014 23:29:20 +0000
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