The Dark Knight Rises -- The Reason The Ending Sucked The Happy Ending: The plot of The Dark Knight Rises would take us five entire articles to summarize, so were just gonna skip to the end (SPOILERS!): After having his back broken (for a while, anyway), defusing a months-long terror plot on Gotham City and putting up with some outrageous accents, Bruce Wayne decides to fake his own death, retire to Europe with Catwoman and leave all his Batman shit to his ex-cop buddy, John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), whose legal name, conveniently, is Robin. For a while it looks to the audience like Wayne really died, but in the last scene, his faithful butler, Alfred, is in a restaurant in Florence and sees him sitting there with Catwoman, in reference to a conversation theyd had earlier. But After the Movies Over ... So, uh, Bruce Wayne is a world-famous playboy millionaire who supposedly died during a terrorist plot that will go down in the annals of history ... and hes just sitting there, in the middle of a crowded restaurant, completely undisguised? Seriously? Imagine some alternate universe where Donald Trump died in the 9/11 attacks, then showed up alive a year later. The question isnt whether someone will recognize him, its how fast theyll do it. By the time he asks for the check, his photo will be prominently displayed on every major news outlet in the world. But lets say Bruce simply dropped his fake mustache in that one shot. Lets say Alfred is just senile and imagined the whole thing. That doesnt change the fact that Gotham City is still screwed, because theres no Batman. Sure, Bruce left all his gadgets and stuff to Blake, but that was an incredibly naive thing to do, because it ignores the fact that Batmans true superpower was always money. If his tank broke down or exploded, he just got a new one. Actually, forget the tank: Whats Blake gonna do when something tears up his Batsuit, like the dogs at the beginning of The Dark Knight? Patch it up with duct tape? And thats the other thing: Bruce trained to be Batman by traveling the world for seven years, most of which was spent with a group of highly skilled assassins in the mountains. Contrast that with Blake/Robin, who was at one point overpowered by Gary Oldman in a hospital gown. Whats going to happen when the Joker comes back (presumably he escaped from prison with the other criminals), or when a guy who looks like the Penguin as played by Philip Seymour Hoffman inevitably shows up? Actually, the comics have already told us: Theyll beat the shit out of Robin, only this time there wont be a Batman to come and rescue him. (Cue Joker With A Crowbar!)
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 16:05:28 +0000
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