The Ferdinand Files: In which I have no shame because well, I just cant. So this post is going to demolish any shred of dignity I ever had on social media, make you laugh or cringe or both, and be a perfect demonstration of why i never shut up about accessibility and disability awareness, because I bet you never stopped to wonder what happens when a blind girl needs a new bra. Yeah, how does that actually work? every person needs items of a personal nature at some point: tampons, underwear, lingerie, more intimate things... It happens. But when you cannot see items on a store shelf, and ordering online just isnt an option, what do you do? You swallow your pride, or take pride in admitting to yourself and the world at large that you are a human in an inaccessible world and you need some help. So, today, I had to go lingerie and bra shopping. Yes, I have no shame in admitting that Im a girl on social media, and that my girls dont fit in standard-sized bras, so I have to go to the actual bra store and get a bra fitting from them to pick out what Im going to wear for the next six months to wrangle Ethel and Lucy into place. IF youre uncomfortable now, you aint seen nothin yet. So my cab drops me off at the mall... except he dropped me off at the wron mall, so I had no idea where I was going. I found my way to the information desk through a series of asking teenaged boys and guys who spoke no english... and I asked a big burly security guard to help me walk across the skyway to the other mall across the street, and to escort me to the lingerie store. AS we start walking, my hand on his elbow for guidance, he asks: ARe my muscles getting in your way? I mean, thats my elbow, but Ill just say its my muscles. Did he just hit on me? Yes, yes he did. Blind girl pickup line? Those are my muscles youre feeling? Dude, youre trying too hard, and Im actually intelligent! Fine then. Make nice conversation, and try not to look at all embarrassed when he walks you right into the lingerie store. Im a girl. Girls wear bras. What is there to be embarrassed about other than that security walked me into the lingerie store? Well? If the mall map was tactile and the stores were Braille labeled?Nope, not embarrassed at all for someone elses oversight. So I get to the lingerie store, and the clerk, whom I know from previous excursions to this same store, begins assisting me. WE are laughing in the dressing room, gabbing, having actual success, when, just as I turn to face the mirror in a new bra, Ferdinand stands up and proceeds to inform us hes about to barf. I tell the sales associate: Trash can! as I dive for the dog, and desperately try to aim his head over the trash can so I wont get dog barf all over this posh dressing room while Im standing in nothing but a bra and my pants. Thankfully, Ferdinands aim was true and I managed to contain the mess. Chalk that one up to things that will inevitably happen when you sign up to get a Guide dog... and of course it has to happen in front of a mirror when Im bra shopping. Nope, not embarrassed yet, just a dog owner. Okay, well, maybe my flush is creeping a bit. So, we finish trying everything on, get my purchasing done, and she asks if I can fill out one of those sales survey things on an iPad. Hey! My days looking up! iPads are easy, anyone blind can use an iPad! Thats cool, an accessible store! She brings me the iPad and I eagerly initiate the command to turn on Voiceover... then frown as nothing happens. Because the iPad is locked, we cant access the settings menu to make it accessible for me or anyone with low vision, and theres a captia on the form anyway. So much for accessible. Sighing resignedly, I ask her to fill it out for me. Well, hey, I tried. More than any experience thus far, that was the one that upped my embarrassment factor, though I did inform her how to fix the problem, and hope fervently she understood why it was a problem. She kindly offered to walk me downstairs to where I can catch my cab home. AS we board the escalator, she turns in panic to watch Ferdie and I step on to the escalator, and proclaims: you almost gave me a heart attack! Why? Because I couldnt find the railing for a second and had to reach into midair and hunt with an outstretched foot? OKay. Next time, I showed her how to help me find the railing and step up to the edge of the moving escalator. AS I left, I got the distinct impression that though she really liked me, she wasnt exactly displeased to see me go, barfing dog, accessibility requests, new bras and all. Nope, when you are an independent blind woman in the real world, life dictates that you learn that pride is a stupid thing, that if you want to be beautiful and choose your own bras, you take all that that implies, and you own it. And be proud of the fact that you dont care how awkward other people feel helping you do the most personal things; youre teaching them, getting your life done, and reminding the world why accessibility really would be a good thing and its not just something we whine about for no good reason. So? Theres my day. Thats how a blind chick buys a bra. I hope it makes you think. A lot.
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 23:49:15 +0000
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