The Forgiveness Rope: What End Are You On? Forgiveness is a gift we many times find ourselves looking for from someone we love. But how many times have we found it difficult to grant such mercy to a loved one who has transgressed against us… especially if that person does so repeatedly and with apparent wreckless abandon. How prepared are we to accept a sincere apology from that individual? As quickly as we hope and pray forgiveness is granted when on the other end to that rope? And how quickly do we hold a grudge on someone who has sinned against us out of pettiness and spite, even after we have been given a heartfelt and sincere apology? How quickly do we justify turning our backs on someone we love because they have travelled around our backs on a number of occasions? For certain, there are many who would support this action, pointing to the cause and effect of one to the other. Well, a very influential figure in history was challenged with that question around 2,000 years ago…and his response is worthy of consideration in my opinion: “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”, Peter asked of Jesus in chapter 18 of the book of Matthew. To which Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” As Peter was instructed, it matters not the amount of times we are done wrong or transgressed against, just as He forgives so too must we as well…regardless of the severity and frequency. Because if we truly forgave in the first place, our forgiveness of the initial sin wiped the slate clean so when they came looking for forgiveness again, it’s done with no record or history of wrongdoing…the way our Heavenly Father forgives us each and every time. And whether or not one accepts His instructions in the same spiritual context that I do, I nonetheless submit to you that the lesson is at least worth consideration, acceptance and put into personal practice. You see, I firmly believe that forgiveness granted to the truly contrite and repentant soul is the ultimate act of mercy…granting someone a pardon from their actions which merit punishment. And I also accept the premise that the act of forgiveness set free the captive soul. It’s only when we forgive that we then discover the freed soul was our own. We have all been on both ends of the forgiveness rope. Speaking only for myself, I know every time I found myself on the end that sought forgiveness for my actions, I wanted to be forgiven. Oh, I didn’t expect it nor did I believe I was deserving of it…but I wanted the forgiveness anyway. Thus, it is important for me to grant the same when I have been done wrong by others, whether that transgression was committed with a spirit of malice or not. Now, this does not mean one should continue to subject themselves to abuse…Absolutely NOT! And this is taking into account ‘abuse’ takes on many forms above & beyond physical. Many times it is emotional, verbal and that one can also abuse someone’s trust and abuse the truth. In these cases, you may have to separate yourselves from them and simply love them from afar, either for a period of time or permanently. But when they come to us asking forgiveness, how prepared are you in your heart to accept the apology and provide the mercy requested? If we truly believe in these words found in the book of Matthew, the answer should be “every single time”, regardless of whether or not a full reconciliation can be arranged. And speaking from experience, we all too often use that inability to reconcile as an excuse to not only grant forgiveness, but to also continue the conflict in hopes of inflicting revenge and extracting a pound of flesh. In essence, we feel the gentle tug on the opposite in of the forgiveness rope, but choose to yank it hard, tightening the noose around their neck. This, I would contend, is as equally wrong as their original transgression…especially given our history of understanding exactly the position in which they find themselves. And one never knows, by granting such forgiveness and mercy to the transgressor…especially on a continuous basis…it might just be the example needed to eventually turn their backs on their destructive behaviors that caused damage to the relationship in the first place. Paraphrasing Margaret Thatcher, sometimes you have to be prepared to fight the battle more than once in order to win the war. So how many times do you forgive? Simple: As many times as it takes….every time.
Posted on: Sun, 22 Sep 2013 14:19:37 +0000
Trending Topics
© 2015