The Love That Wasnt I was obviously blinded by love, as people say. I didnt see what was happening in my relationship. It was like trying to use a car with a broken engine. Bam! The door slammed. I stood in the empty kitchen when it happened. As I walked towards the glass table, I was angry because of the argument we had. My dad just didnt understand that I wanted to be a father. The argument started when I told him that Jennifer and I were planning to have a baby. “No! I will not let you ruin your life Justin,” he answered. “But,” I paused thinking of what to say, “we’re ready and we love each other.” “Readiness and love arent the only things you need to raise a child,” he argued. And that’s when he left, as if the world was nothing. At that moment, I wished my dad would accept our decision and let us have a baby. I wanted to know what it’s like to be a father. I wanted to give Jennifer a family as if it were the first Christmas gift she’d see. That afternoon, when my dad came home, I walked towards the room past the sewer-like bathroom in the hallway. I made the decision to go in his room and have a talk, to reason with him. The conversation was calm, no voices that would lead people to ask questions. The good thing that came out of that conversation was that he gave me a job at his family restaurant. I never wanted to work there, but it was what I needed to show him I wanted the baby. “If you really want this baby, you’ll work for it,” he suggested. “I am going to give you a job at my family’s restaurant, and when you can handle yourself, then we’ll talk.” “Thank you dad, so much, I won’t let you down,” I said with a smile. “You’ll see how much I want this.” In cases like these I thought it wouldve ruined the relationship between my dad and I. I didn’t start to work until the day after, but I wanted to learn a few things before I started working there. My dad had left a few minutes before so I thought I could ask him for a ride back home after. On my way to the restaurant, I noticed a storm coming so I started to walk faster. As I was speeding towards the restaurant, I realized that I hadnt told Jennifer about the job. I knew that me getting a job for us would make her happy, so I decided to tell her on the first day of school, which was tomorrow. When I walked in the front door of the formal place, I saw Jennifer sitting by herself at a distant table. I still didnt want her to know about the job, so I hid behind a plant that was just a few steps away. As I was furtively hiding behind the plant, I saw my dad walking straight towards Jennifer’s table, he was going to sit. Then, when my dad sat with her on the white colored table, I saw why Jennifer was here and it wasnt for the food. I had witnessed a kiss between Jennifer and my father! I couldnt believe my eyes when I saw what I saw, so I ran out of that heinous place through the backdoor hoping it’d be an escape. As I ran towards my home, I felt the drops of the cold rain that were coming from the storm I had seen on my way to the restaurant. I couldnt think about anything else, but how I was going to handle that situation. At that point though, I understood why my father didnt want me to have a baby with Jennifer, he wanted her for himself. As I came closer and closer to my home, I began to feel like there was something I had to do. I had to end the relationship between Jennifer and I. When pulling out the keys to the door, I saw the key chain that had a picture of Jennifer while she was at the park celebrating her birthday last year. Part of me wanted to throw it in the pile of mud at the front of the house, but I decided to give it to her in person. When I walked into my room, I felt the sudden anger in me steam up and lead me to punch a hole in the cheap wall. I wasnt just angry at my father and Jennifer, but I was also angry at my own eyes for allowing me to see something so hurtful. I had then come up with a plan that had taken me a minute to come up with. I was going to stand up to Jennifer tomorrow and end our relationship that no longer existed. As I was lying in my bed, I was reflecting on what I had seen that day, and I just couldnt wait. It was only a few minutes after I had left the restaurant, so I figured they were still there. I rushed out of my bed without a thought in my mind because I already had a purpose. I was going to confront Jennifer and my father while they were seeing each other. When I got to the restaurant, I saw Jennifer flattered at the romantic comments my dad was giving her. They were at the same table, but this time the table had been cleared so that the only thing between my father and Jennifer was the delicate air. Me being in the same room caused me to change that scene, I looked as if I were a monster out to get anyone in my way. “What is going on?!” I asked violently. “Nothing, I was just having a conversation with your dad,” Jennifer said innocently. “Yeah, she just came to persuade me about your plan,” said my father. “How are you going to lie to me like that, I know about you two,” I said turning towards Jennifer. “It’s over Jennifer, it should’ve been a long time ago.” And that’s when I left, leaving a crowd of wonder behind. I didnt want to go to my father’s house, but I knew I had nowhere else to go. I didnt stay up that night, I didnt want to see or talk to my father, so I drank the pills he takes when he can’t sleep. Now, I as a get up to lock the door to my room, I still don’t know what I am going to do next. I was locking the door hoping that everything would stay in the hallway, but my father started to knock. “Justin? I want to talk to you,” he says as if he expected me to do something. “I don’t want to talk to you,” I say like a petulant child. “Jennifer and I are over, you can have your family now,” he says as if everything would go back to normal. He’s leaving now that he figured I won’t answer. I almost forgot, it’s the first day of school! I have to start my final year on a good note. I have to get rid of this anger that is built up inside. I know my dad is sitting on the dusty old chair my grandfather gave him before he passed away. I know he sits there every Monday morning to start the week with good and happy memories. My grandfather was a big part of my dads life, more than just a father for him, a friend. I furtively walk out my room and down the crippled wooden stairs. I dont want my dad to know about the surprise I am about to give him. As I stand behind him, I stay stuck, I still dont know what I am going to tell him, but suddenly the words come out, Dad, I say waiting for him to turn around, I love you and I forgive you. As Im standing I think about what I just said and add, I mean it. Thank you son, he says with relief, “I love you too, now go to school, wouldnt want to start your senior year on a bad note. I will, but youre driving me, I say before I add, that is if you want me to start on a good note. I remember my childhood days when my dad would always drive me to school on the first day, but you cant stay a child forever. Okay, he says in agreement, then you have five minutes before I leave you behind. He always told me this when he drove me only to make me hurry. I rush towards my room with a watermelon-like smile. I decide to grab the backpack I used when I was a child; I think it would go well with the situation. As I run towards the door that now seems to be lighter than usual, I turn to my left and see my dads daily planner sitting on the table. I walk towards the planner and grab my pen from the pocket of my backpack and in todays slot I write NEW BEGINNING. As I walk out the door, I notice the sun is surrounded by nothing but blue sky. I get in the car that’s still as smelly as the last time I got in it about five years ago. I look at my dad as he is driving ahead and I say to him, “Dad, thank you.” Getting out of the car, I see Jennifer on the other side of the parking lot. My smile now is suddenly turning into a frown that I cannot hold. I walk towards the front door of the school and hear the bell ring. I stand in front of the door just looking at the start of my last year. I can see Jennifer’s shadow behind me, waiting for something. I know Im going to have to talk to her sooner or later, but I guess it’s sooner. “Hi Jennifer,” I say with my back still turned towards her, “what are you waiting for?” “Huh?” She asks with confusion, “I’m not waiting for you, I’m waiting for my real boyfriend that’s bringing my things from the car.” I look over to see the naive child that she is talking about. I didnt see anyone in the parking lot, but a sophomore that just joined the school this year. “Don’t waste your time,” I yell across the parking lot, “she will only mess with your life.” “What do you think you’re doing?” She asks. “I am freeing a young man from the game YOU call life,” I say without regretting. “I am glad I didnt have a baby with you,” I say with relief, “you don’t deserve a family.” “I loved you,” she says as if I don’t know she’s lying. “I don’t listen to hypocrites,” I state, “but I do forgive you.” “Really?” “Yes, but it doesnt mean you’re my girlfriend again,” I clarify. “I just don’t want to live a life where I can’t trust the person I love, that’s not love.” I say leaving the outdoors.. ^_^
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 20:39:06 +0000
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