******The Thoroughly Modern Guide to Breakups*********** ****The Clean Dozen: 12 Rules of Better Breakups*********** No question, breaking up is incredibly difficult because it involves giving, or receiving, bad news that engages our deepest vulnerability—the fear that we are unlovable. Most of us are designed not only to minimize discomfort but to dislike rupturing attachments, priming us for sleights of avoidance in delivering or digesting such deeply threatening information. It takes courage to recognize we have a moral obligation to put aside personal discomfort in approaching someone we cared for and who loved us— especially when means of ducking that responsibility are so readily available. But courage pays dividends in self-respect and accelerated recovery. ***Take full responsibility for initiating the breakup. *** Do it only face to face. *** Act with dignity. *** Be honest. ***Avoid big, bad clichés like “It’s not you, it’s me.” ***Avoid a point-by-point dissection of where things fell apart. ***Make it a clean break. *** Communicate ongoing appreciation of the good times you shared ***Don’t protest a partner’s decision. ***Don’t demonize your ex-partner. ***Don’t try to blot out the pain you’re feeling, either ***Resist thinking you’ve lost your one true soul mate.
Posted on: Thu, 22 Aug 2013 00:07:17 +0000
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