The Trees Die Standing Firm Up High Asking Why Not Me Simple humble serenity is clarity. The clear minded, are you happy? Are you all right? Mind at a time, you are not a god. Realize what it is, it’s not what is not. Any reactions not planned but a domino effect viciously chaining needy circles, but why not me? Aware, altered perception, perceptions of a point of view, why ask why me? Treating not a self with splendid specialty, numbing this heart’s wants and needs, always keeping humble enough to know there is always someone being through worst and enjoying your contentment. Who you need to be is simply wanting to be who you are, helpless as we are treating you to situations certain hated reactions, others only following who they seek to be. May you please perceive that others hurt too, placing you in me a skill lost in time waiting to be brought back, by only me? A hero named hope that protects me on my paths. He, your most beloved best friend, don’t you ignore him; you simply did not know it yet. Waste my time serious will not make brighter days, though sight will never shine your mind, there is always hope as to what I need or want maybe ignoring thoughts of rationalizing what they tell you to be. Applause, for those able to label what they ignore and don’t know, my shoes, this past, a point of view in one point of time, their unknown future, how dare you judge if you were not there, why waste what is at hand, per suiting disappointment for nothing is forever more, besides this love? Yes my love full fills my immortality star, my memory. Second to second, tic to tock is life time I don’t have to waste without thinking about my family or friends, to watch over them and all those who need to realize it’s not that bad, wondering if I am doing greater good dead or alive. Ignoring whether heaven or hell is real for those thoughts let me sleep at night, a nightmare to think I won’t ever see my mom again and such a horrible human being is said her to have been all along growing up, you believe your mom is supposed to be perfect then waking up and realizing she was just another person trying to pursuit her happiness just like you and I with you at the top of her mind and nothing else, having you smile for that is what she was born to be, that person who will always bear with, who sees that perfection in you while everyone else sees flaws, a simple combing of hair or her sweet symphony of lullabies will build your pillars in this world so hard to those defenseless to survival, survival of the luckiest is what I call it, for thinking of what you are missing is only the start, there will be an end to this black hole once filled with empty, my prison walled heart there only so you won’t fall in it, I do not want your understanding but there is no other way for you to see what you take for granted, the most precious you are in charge to take care of, something in my opinion you don’t deserve, I believe I deserve my mom and have only worked to make her proud, a simple I am proud of you son from a bodiless being would make my day, looking up at loneliness making no sense of it, who do I have? Who will put me in front of everyone else? Who is in charge of helping my day? No one would ever choose my life over theirs or their kids besides her heart. No one besides my natural biological mother will have a connection to you to fill up this emptiness inside that will merry my heart and cease this helpless way of being, end my pain of missing the trust of my lifetime creators, to choke upon the words I am happy and all right not fitting anywhere or having a special place, a family that was mine to take for granted, something everyone else has, I am so spoiled. I am sure there is worst, right? Everything will be fine… right? Can anybody assure me this hole is going to be patched before I die? All I wanted was my mommy, but why not me? What makes me so special to have my mom? It’s only a matter of time to get to the day we shall reunite and watch over our loved ones, I cannot wait until the day I die. Until the day I hear I am so proud of you son. I am not afraid of death but don’t want it to end. A mother the only person who will ever put you in front of everyone else, the only person meant to love you no matter how you act or do. The only person who knows exactly what you are about and will make things better on those rainy days, the only person who will care for you after ruining everything and won’t ever let anybody else before you even if you were wrong. One who gets food stuck in her throat when you hunger and knows when something is wrong in your life. If she dies there will never be anyone who will die for you. There will never be a worry because you know your mommy’s arms will always be there, her arms, a shoulder to cry on, someone who will understand you because she carried you in her womb, that person you can trust fully willing to murder if you’re in danger, has never existed, and complaining will never bring her back and past memories will stay intact, that safety and warmth never existed in a life that even Satan wished he never had, a road of loneliness that not even god can help. I hope those who have a mother love her with all your heart for nobody is born knowing how to be a mom much less knowing what it feels like to have a mental picture in your heart only to caress. Rose around families already complete without any room for a bastard anywhere in either my life or yours, not a place of comfort and safety impossible to exist for only death will fix it, death only will fix everything, I hope I did as much good and help as much as I can for I was done with life whenever I turned 3, never even planned from start so why must I attempt, I used to think, hoping I affected everyone I met in the most positive way because in order for them to realize. How good their life is I had to eat dirt for most of mine. Whenever they were being given all the love and good advice I was in the opposite place craving something I never had. My birth mom that person I owe this beautiful life to who didn’t know she was not going to be able to be there on the day I hope she wanted to be there the most, to make her proud dead or alive is all I have left and waiting patiently contently here I am for the day that my family will be together again. That day sadly where I will get my most wanted thought and dumb pathetic idea, my mother’s hug with my could have been “normal” family just one last time, even if it was the last of my memories. _-Tru Angel Danity (my new name)
Posted on: Tue, 10 Sep 2013 14:14:10 +0000
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