The death of Robin Williams has made me reflect on the lack of a concrete father figure in my life. In my youth when looking for role models I always turned to stories with strong male characters that embodied the qualities I wanted in myself. Robins performances in Dead Poets Society, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Good Will Hunting, to name but a few, have had strong influences on my own character, and as such his passing today has left me with a profound loss - more so than I would have imagined. The feeling of pain and emptiness left behind by the words Robin Williams found dead is something I could have only imagined was possible with the loss of a close, personal, loved one, and now I see that the role models we choose growing up are just as close to our hearts as the rest we let in. Given this reaction to a loss of a role model, Im not sure I could bear the loss of my mother, whose love and support I owe everything to. Mom - I love you, and you need to stay with me for a lot longer, since forever isnt possible. But it also makes me think about the baby girl I will be welcoming into the world tomorrow. Due to the high risk pregnancy Melissa has a scheduled c-section at 9AM in the morning. So I will be a daddy the next time I come to Facebook. It scares me because I dont know what kind of father I will be. I want to make sure she never has to look to stories for a father figure. I want to make sure I can impart to her the same things I learned from my male role models growing up. I want her to know that I will always love her no matter what, and any slight in my behavior is never her fault. I want to show her a world full of wonder, love, and passion - a world where her imagination can run free boundless by the constraints that society will try to shackle her with. I want to teach her how to be brave, and fearless, and compassionate. I want to help her be open minded, respectful, kind, and tolerant. I want her to learn the importance of integrity, and how to always point her moral compass North regardless of how easy it may be to do otherwise. Most of all I want to be there for her the way my father wasnt there for me.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 04:13:35 +0000
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