The highlight of her Sunday was waiting in for her shopping. And it always came on time. Especially since she began her illicit affair with the Tescos delivery driver. No sooner had he despatched her weekly essentials in the hallway, his own bags were released from captivity. Bending her over the stairs he slid his hand over her velcro triangle and excitedly rubbed it like a £5 scratchy from Stars. She was gagging for his pulled pork and although he was up against time, he was loving it. “In me!” came the cry. “I want thick lashings of your Bollock Yoghurt” Her fish mitten was splattering more than a fat kid swimming lengths at Maldwyn as it absorbed the full length of his meat mallet, and was soon beginning to resemble a dropped Sar Beni. Without warning though she was to hear the shout of Unexpected Item In The Bagging Area! as he jovially slung it up her wrongun and began browning the banger. Kin ell like” she screamed, with a level of terror and excitement not experienced since she climbed the Robert Owen statue whilst pissed up on Mad Friday. A few thrusts later and he had unloaded his Vanilla Shake right up her Cadbury Canal. Removing his old chap, he observed the carnage. He hadnt seen so much crap since he last logged onto Items For Sale. “Oh you filthy maig” he muttered. “ Ill get you the Andrex out of the bag”. A trip to Iceland was on the cards for next weekend.
Posted on: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 02:09:13 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015