The night my life almost ended. For those of you who purchased my poetry book this is no secret. However for others this is new to yall. But due to being neglected and molested as a child I go through sever anxiety & depression. I normally can deal with it. However 2 weeks ago it was getting to me bad so I reached out for help. I went to the bases psychologist telling him Ive been contemplating suicide. He asked a few vague questions and sent me back to the ship fit for full duty. Couple days after that I was on watch when suddenly my mind drifted back to the time when I was molested. The shame, hurt, and fear I could feel it all as if it was happening once again. Without thinking I reached for my 9mm as fast I could hit the safety put it in my mouth and pulled the trigger. The safety had not been fully disengaged so the gun did not fire. I took a deep breath, Trying to gain enough strength to do it again, I wanted to see my daughter one last time so I looked in my wallet wear I keep a series of pictures of her. I saw this one and I couldnt do it. I cried so hard I ruined the picture. But Im alive today to tell you this story.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Nov 2014 10:55:27 +0000
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