The only reason we arent together is that you dont want to be. Thats a decision you have made over and over again. It has robbed me of any happiness for some years now. The way I was treated compared to how I treated you has left me full of pain and scared head to toe. I have stoped holding on. Even though everything, specially the butterflies(the ones I have now, in my stomach, have either in joy or anxiety every time I think of you, us) reminds me of you still I couldnt go back. You have proven to me I am only second best when there are only two competing, third best if there are three. You have always been my favorite, my number one. I was loyal even while you were openly with others. That led to more hurt and pain. I am loyal to those loyal to me now and them only, that does not include you. I cant even get the same treatment they do. I am such a happier man now. I told you what I needed but my texts and messages went unread as always because I was the least important to you.. Sorry but I have learned that I want what I give in return. You have made me nothing special. I made you so special th st the rest of my worlds became nothing. You were everything. I think of what you were doing while I bled, thats what the butterflies remind me if now. The anxiety of terror you gave me because I loved you and no one else...,,..now as you continue to give what was once mine away I look for my butterflies elsewhere. You would have to prove so much for a chance. I would love it more than anything but I remember too many times when I expected just that and you gave me.....,,,the feeling of a knife in my gut where the butterflies used to flutter your name.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 15:01:10 +0000
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